In season and out of season

Jesus seems to be in a punitive (punishing), violent mood: he curses a fig tree and then drives away those doing business in the Temple premises (Mark 11:11-26). He wants us to produce fruits in season and out of season. I am asked to do good even out of season. I am asked to do good even when others do not provide the "goodness context." To do good to those who harm us. That is what Jesus reiterates when he says, "When you stand in prayer, forgive whatever you have against anybody." (Mark 11:25).

Our task is not merely to forgive “the Jews” and “the Romans.” It maybe even easy to forgive the military regime or the fundamentalist government or the corrupt politicians and officials whom we may encounter every day. It may be easy to forgive this or that Prime Minister or Chief Minister or District Administrator. We may expect them to be cruel, so it might be even easier to forgive. But to forgive my own dear ones in the family or my own confreres in the community, that is not easy. That might be the most difficult task that the Lord may be asking from me just now. We may even think: I have done so much for this person, but she has done this or that harm to me. Time and again this or that person is disobedient, rebellious, even unfaithful and betrayed me. To forgive him or her is certainly difficult, almost impossible. Yet this is exactly what we are called to do: Forgive him from the heart. Forgive him again and again. Forgive everything, everyone, every time. That’s a tall order! Not seven times, but seventy times seven. An incredibly (almost) impossible tall order!

My abusive or alcoholic parents, my greedy siblings and relatives, my dominating superiors, my nagging friends and companions, my imperfect relatives and family members, my insensitive and complaining companions, my impious parishioners, my fault-finding neighbours, my rebellious children, my parochial and racist thinking country men and women, and the list is unending. I am called to forgive all of them from my heart. Indeed, a very difficult task!

Do you know what is even harder to forgive? It is often the petty things, the accumulating resentments. The little things we know about another person; how they sort of did us wrong yesterday. Though they may not be serious issues but the ego loves to grab onto those; they build up on the psyche like a repettitive stress injury. I think that in many ways, it is much harder to let go of these micro-offenses, precisely because they are so tiny. And so we unconsciously hoard them, and they clog us up.

Perhaps by starting to forgive, I can battle my own hypocritical behaviours. I can start practising what I preach every day. When I start doing this, I realise that I am not loving very well. I am meeting only my needs, which is nothing but “co-dependency.” This kind of love is impure and self-seeking. Perhaps a lot of what we call love today is not love at all.

Loving and forgiving: they are practically the same. To love others is to forgive others. Jesus does not merely preach on forgiveness and loving our enemies, but he demonstrates it even when it is most difficult, even while dying: on the cross. We need to die to our false selves (egos), if we wish to love others, if we wish to forgive others.

When I stand in prayer today, when I sit or kneel for my prayer today, I will try to forgive all those people who have hurt me. I shall try to embrace them in my prayer.