Wednesday, 20 June 2018

Belongingness vs Belovedness

Day 6: Talk 1: BELONGINGNESS vs BELOVEDNESS. Retreat to the FMAs, Bellefonte Outreach, Shillong.

A little story from Henri Nouwen’s life:
Henri Nouwen describes how, one day, a differently abled community member named Janet came up and asked him for a blessing. Henri was distracted by other things, so he quickly traced the sign of the cross on her forehead.
“No,” protested Janet. “I want a real blessing!”
Henri understood, then, how he had been insensitive to her need. He promised that, at the next prayer service, he would have a special blessing for her.
At the end of the prayer service, about thirty people were sitting in a circle on the floor. Henri announced, “Janet has asked me for a special blessing.”
He didn’t quite know what she was seeking from him, but her next move left no doubt. She walked up to him and wrapped her arms around him. As he embraced her in return, her slight form was almost covered by the folds of the white robe he wore while leading worship.
As they held each other, Henri said “Janet, I want you to know that you are God’s Beloved Daughter. You are precious in God’s eyes. Your beautiful smile, your kindness to the people in your house, and all the good things you do show what a beautiful human being you are. I know you feel a little low these days and that there is some sadness in your heart, but I want you to remember who you are: a very special person, deeply loved by God and all the people who are here with you.”
Janet raised her head and looked at him. Her beaming smile told him that she had truly understood and received the blessing.
What happened next was unexpected. As Janet returned to her place, another woman raised her hand. She, too, wanted a blessing. She stood up and embraced Henri, too, laying her face against his chest. After that, a great many more of the differently abled members of the community took their turn, coming up for the same sort of blessing.
For Henri, the most touching moment was when one of the assistants, a twenty-four-year-old college student, raised his hand and asked, “And what about me?” John was a big, burly young man, an athlete. Henri did the same with him, wrapping his arms around him and saying, “John, it is so good that you are here. You are God’s Beloved Son…”
John looked back with tears in his eyes and simply said, “Thank you, thank you very much.”
When things are difficult and life is hard, remember who you are: you are a special person. You are deeply loved by God and by all those who are with you.
We are God’s Beloved; we belong to God. We are already the children of God.

We need to reclaim this Belovedness of ours. Again and again.

1 John 3:1-2. “See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! Dear friends, now we are children of God, and what we will be has not yet been made known. But we know that when Christ appears, we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is.”

It is easier to belong to a group than to belong to God. Both these must go hand in hand, but it goes without saying that belonging to God is more important than belonging to a group.

In our ministry what do we insist on? Belonging to God, or belonging to our parish/ our community/ our congregation/ our church…?

Do people come to church out of fear or out of love? Do they/we know that they are the Beloved of God? That God loves them without conditions or expectations?

We seem to be worshipping the Way, more than walking the Way. Jesus said, “Follow me,” and didn’t want any worship. Doing the journey is more important than worshipping the journey.

Do not pull Christ out of the Trinity? Cosmic Christ. John 1:1. Colossians 3:11. God is continuously speaking to / communicating with / revealing himself to / relating with you. This is the Word of God. Image Became Flesh. Christ. We can touch God. God reveals himself through: nature, parents, sisters, enemies, church, bible, sacraments, other religions, atheists.

Often the very things that don’t appeal to us have the most to teach us spiritually. So much of our lives is dictated by our preferences, what we like and don’t like. We all naturally gravitate toward what we find attractive, and there’s nothing inherently wrong with that. But we need to be aware that there are things deeper than our preferences. If we do not recognize that, we will follow them addictively and never uncover our soul’s deeper desires.

Christianity should not be an evacuation plan to the next world. Or we priests and religious should not be merely involved in “sin management.”

In unhealthy religion, we’ve felt this pathological need to make everybody the same; church has become an exclusionary institution instead of this great banquet feast where Jesus constantly invites in sinners, outcasts, the marginalized, the ne’er-do-wells. Matthew 22 gives this story.

How much are we able to include the bad people in our circle? This is the true test of our religion, of Christianity? Am I able to love all the wrong people? Samaritans, prostitutes, tax collectors, Hindutva and ISIS fundamentalists, Mr Modi, and all the wrong and unjust people that I can think of at this moment. Am I able to love all the bad people, wrong people, the people who are not worthy of any love? The true test of spirituality is about including the outsider.

Church is a collection of sinners and saints, bad and good people, dirty and clean, disobedient and obedient, virgins and prostitutes, unruly, uncouth, and refined persons, LGBTQIA.

Let us celebrate differences.

I’m advocating for openness: let us accept and celebrate truth, goodness, beauty, holiness wherever it’s found.

Boundaries are important, identities are significant; but nothing is absolute except God. Making anything else absolute except God is called idolatry.

There are no boundaries in nature, only lines. They are merely contrasts. Perhaps the divisions are in our mind. Therefore, growth is expansion of our consciousness, expansion of our horizons. It is about collapsing all boundaries, to integrate all the alienated aspects of ourselves.

In God’s sight, there are no divisions. In his sight, there is nothing ugly. Everything is beautiful.

We discover God within a group or a structure. We have God-experience within a group, that does not mean that the group is greater than God Himself. This is the mystery of our lives.

Group-think should not become a substitute for God-think. Otherwise, we will believe that God is found only by our group. We then claim that identification with our group is the only way to serve God. If that is the case, what is the difference between other religion fundamentalists and us?

People who talk like me, who look like me or think like me don’t threaten my boundaries. My ego wants this uniformity; my ego is comfortable with uniformity, not differences. But my point is not to break the boundaries or our indentities.. they are needed. Yet they are not absolute. We need to keep expanding our boundaries.

Let us not become some pujaris who are interested in serving our own selfish interests. Let us go out on to the streets, even get dirty as Pope Francis would advise us; the church is not about locking ourselves in and not getting ourselves dirty. The church is a field hospital. We are wounded healers.

Our people have the right to know that they are loved by God unconditionally, even when they don’t pay their monthly subscriptions. Even when they are not regular for the church services. Not regular for meditation or prayers. You see, love is a dangerous thing: it brings in a lot of disorder. Be happy with the disorder, rather than the artificial order that you can bring about. I’m not concerned about the order or the disorder, but my focus is the re-order that only one, only Him who can bring about. My God is a God of history, who is incarnate flesh and blood in this material world.

Interestingly such a work is not an outside work, but an interior, inside work. Without this solid interiority we cannot work for others’ good. In fact, I had started my talk with this topic: Belovedness. We are God’s Beloved, His loved ones.

Unless we affirm ourselves on this, I don’t think we will able to give our best. We are loved unconditionally by God. We need to experience this unfailing love of God, shown in Jesus Christ, our Saviour.

God is for us. We can’t diminish God’s love for us. What we can do, however, is learn how to believe it, receive it, trust it, allow it, and celebrate it, accepting Trinity’s whirling invitation to join in the cosmic dance.

That’s why all spirituality comes down to how you’re doing life right now. How you do anything is how you do everything.

The world is good. God is good. God is for you. The world is for you, not against you. The world is not gloom and doom as our television channels and newspapers and “bad news” media project minute after minute. I’m not denying there is evil, injustice, war and violence… but isn’t it also true that it is not the whole picture of the world or of reality?

Talking about the different ways in which we can work about our inside, about our interiority: I said, am I able to open up to at least one person—who knows all my secrets, and who can receive me unjudgmentally, unconditionally. This is not easy. You need to lose yourself, die to your false self, let go of your ego.

All spirituality is about dying or letting go. Every Eucharist, every sacrament is about dying, about letting go. Even love is about letting go: about emptying ourselves, kenosis. True community living is also about emptying ourselves. Emptying our pre-judgments, biases, giving up our blindness.

These are some of the ways we need in order to let go of our false selves: prayer, reflection, contemplation, meditation, silence, reading a serious book, watching an inspiring movie, taking a walk, enjoying a sunset or a sunrise or a natural scenery, having a chat with a dear one, opening ourselves to a spiritual director, and umpteen ways of getting into ourselves.

Why my insistence on a life of interiority. St Teresa of Avila: “It is foolish to think that we will enter heaven without entering into ourselves.”

In the contemplative sit of 20-30 minutes, as a woman: I am not beautiful. I am not charming enough. I am not capable enough. Wait and observe, and have patience, and only then we will hear the thin and feeble voice speaking of light, joy, peace, and love. It will call you the Beloved. (Praying is listening. To pray is to listen to the voice that calls you the beloved.)
Love the mess that you are. Breathe in and breathe out “I love you” in the mess and disorder that you see in yourself and in others.

We don’t like being what we are; and worse, we always want be someone else. We’re mimetic and envious. We’ve traded our instincts for aspirations, wishing we were thinner, or taller, or more handsome, or whatever, anything other than this little incarnation that we are for one gorgeous moment in time. We have a hard time finding grace in “just this”!

All I can give back to God, and all that God wants, is what God has first given to me: this little moment of incarnation, my little “I am” that echoes the great and eternal I AM in grateful awareness. (YHWH)

You are precious. You are Beloved. You are special. At the same time, each and every one is special. You are the centre of history, but also completely indispensable. Only God is absolute, important, and at the centre. His centre is everywhere, and his circumference nowhere.

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