God is always good

Matthew 7:21-29.

'Jesus said to his disciples: It is not those who say to me, “Lord, Lord,” who will enter the kingdom of heaven, but the person who does the will of my Father in heaven.'

The passage of Matthew 7:21-29 has some of the most frightening words one must have read in all of the gospels. Good behaviour and actions are the only way to honour the Lord. Our prayer sessions and liturgical practices can become a mere sham, if they are not translated into correct behaviour and good actions.

But the question that most of us might be asking right now is: Does God punish? Does He take revenge? We can be sure of this. We are not punished for our sins; we are punished by our sins. Sin itself is a self-punishment. It is self-destruction. Nobody actually enjoys being in evil. And we know that we are always a mix of good and evil, holiness and horror. We can be doubly sure of this. God loves you precisely in your unworthiness. God does not love you because you are good. God loves you because God is good.

God is not a being who whimsically decides to love some people, and hate others. Let us not attribute our human narrow-mindedness to God. God is always good, no matter the worthiness or unworthiness of the object. He allows rain and sunshine for both the just and unjust, for both the good and the bad. God never discriminates. He just loves.

By Its Fruit

"Every good tree bears good fruit, but the bad tree bears bad fruit. A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, nor can a bad tree bear good fruit."

How do we know that we are on the right path? How do we know that the Christian life that we are living is good? How do I know that I'm making progress in my religion/spirituality? Jesus in the passage of Matthew 7:15-20 gives us a clear answer. He teaches that you will know the rightness of your path by the fruit you produce. If the fruit is good, the path is good. If the fruit is bad, so is the path.

If we don't produce the fruits of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, etc., then we are not on the right track. If day by day my love and my joy aren't becoming bigger or deeper, then perhaps I am not living out the Christian life faithfully. The criterion is not that you go to church regularly or recite prayers without failing. You could go to church every day, and also be cruel and bitter in your heart. But the criterion is: Is your heart becoming more and more peaceful and joyful? Am I giving up my old habits of anger and unkindness, and instead embracing forgiveness and patience?

Spiritual growth is like good sleep. If I'm very irritable and restless today, perhaps I have not slept well last night. In the same way, if I am still carrying thoughts of revenge and resentment, then I am not spiritually well (mature). They are bad fruits, and I may have to change my path drastically. Prayer and faithfulness in Christian life is measured by the presence of fruits of the Holy Spirit (Galatians 5:22), not by elevating thoughts or sweet feelings or sensational piety or devotion.

Pearls for pigs

Among the collection of sayings contained in the passage of Matthew 7:6, 12-14, Jesus gives a puzzling command to his disciples: "Do not give dogs what is holy; and do not throw your pearls in front of pigs."

There's no point in giving wisdom or truth to people who are not spiritually ready for it. That may seem like a harsh statement, but that's the reality. Sometimes when people are not ready, the real message of Jesus cannot take root. When the heart or soul isn't ready, the truth will not be accepted. People may reject the whole thing, since they have not been adequately prepared. We can see this even in our own lives, how we might have misunderstood some good intentions or truthful opinions of other people. Perhaps we were not ready for the truth, and were not able to see the point of it all.

Jesus advocates patience, right timing, and growth especially in our spiritual journey. Without proper discernment and adequate preparation, our spiritual project can become disastrous. We see many vocations to marriage and family life being lost because the persons involved were not sufficiently ready for the sacrifices involved in a married life. Perhaps they were externally attracted to marriage, but internally didn't have enough knowledge about the demands of family life. "A little knowledge is too dangerous." The same could be applied to vocations to religious life and priesthood.

Pearls for pigs? No way!

Do not condemn

"Do not judge, and you will not be judged."

There are probably two broad meanings or categories of "judging": (1) positively, judgment could mean discernment or choosing; or coming to know the reality or truth of something; (2) negatively, judgment could mean condemnation, or taking control of others by showing superiority. We need to judge in order to live, but not to condemn. So Jesus in the passage of Matthew 7:1-5 does not mean to stop us from making decisions and coming to true knowledge. In fact that is necessary, and we should judge only in this positive sense of the word. But to condemn others, and sometimes ourselves, Jesus instructs us not to do it.

Self-hatred and self-condemnation, or denial of one's own shadows and blindspots could be the base of our condemnation of others. We unconsciously control others because we live in denial of our own darknesses. Jesus ends this passage by saying, "Take the log out of your own eye first, and then you will see clearly enough to take the splinter out of your brother's or sister's eye." In modern terms, as Carl Jung explains: "Take the log out of your own eye" means "Own your own shadow." Often the things that we criticize in others are the very things we need to look within ourselves. Unless we are able to accept, confront, own and integrate the darkness and evil that we possess within ourselves, we will not be able to be transforming agents in this world. Transformed people transform the world. Be the change that you want to see in the world. Only the forgiven can forgive, only the healed can heal, only those who stand daily in need of mercy can offer mercy to others. Only those value love in themselves, will be able to offer love to the world.

Highways for God

John the Baptist, Jesus' cousin, was an unusual character, an eccentric who from his earliest years lived in the wilderness—what we would call "a drop-out" from normal society. He is the prophet standing as a bridge between the Old Testament and the New Testament: with his long hair, flashing eyes, rough camel hair coat and diet of locust and wild honey. Once he began to preach, the crowds flocked to hear him and were so fascinated by his message that many mistook him for the Messiah. He was fearless in denouncing evil and a thorn in the flesh of those who did not want to face the truth in their lives. His popularity with the people prevented King Herod from putting him to death when he condemned his adulterous marriage to Herodias, his brother’s wife. Instead he had him arrested and chained up in a dark prison. For those in search of God, John’s greatest desire was to point them towards Jesus, the Lamb of God and the true Messiah. He points out to the truth, lives for the truth, dies for the truth. He was very clear in fulfilling his role of being a voice crying in the wilderness preparing a way for the Lord, and making straight his paths. His whole life was absorbed in being a fearless speaker for God and a supporting character to Jesus.

From John the Baptist we learn humility. "I must decrease, He (Jesus) must increase." We grow more by subtraction than by addition. So our growth is not a matter of accumulating more and better information, but a matter of letting go of our ego and "decreasing." Growth, paradoxically, in spiritual terms is not about increasing, but about decreasing. It is about decreasing our fears, and also our attachment to self-image. Spirituality thus is about unlearning and unburdening, than about gathering knowledge. In other words, human development is primarily about being more, not having more. John the Baptist knew who he was, and who he wasn't. We have no real access to who we really are except in God. Only when we surrender ourselves to God, can we find our true selves.

Along with John the Baptist we are called to build highways for God. Also remove whatever blocks this journey. But the project starts with an inner journey: the discovery of our true selves, which are hidden in God.

Anxieties

"Do not worry about tomorrow: tomorrow will take care of itself. Your heavenly Father knows your needs."

Matthew 6:24-34 is a beautiful passage, which actually needs no commentary. Simple, straightforward, superb; Jesus' words of wisdom at their best.

Ours is a monkey mind: we are either in the past or in the future. Most of the time, the mind replays the past or worries about the future. The mind needs the heart to be in the present. To be completely present at this moment, it takes a lot of discipline and practice. Moreover, God refuses to be known at the mind level; He can only be loved and enjoyed by the heart. The reassurance from Jesus is that God our Father knows all our needs. So why be anxious? Jesus asks us to set our hearts (not the minds alone) on God's Kingdom and His justice. The rest will be taken care of by our heavenly Father. He who takes care of the birds of the sky or the flowers of the field will take care of you. It is said that two-thirds of life forms are under the sea, and no human eye has ever seen one-third of them. They simply exist. By their very existence they praise God. They proclaim God's majesty simply by "being there." God takes care of every creature, including us. The world is okay as it is. It is God's creation.

"FAW" is the worst foe, as a priest used to say. FAW standing for fears, anxieties, and worries. Let us reduce fretting about our past or future, by making an effort "now" to "be here" with all our heart. God takes care of us!

Spiritual business

"Do not store treasures for yourselves on earth... Store up treasures for yourselves in heaven... For wherever you treasure is, there will be your heart too" (Matthew 6:19-23).

Materialism and consumerism finally lets you down. Material things come with a promise but they can never deliver that promise. They don't give you real satisfaction. Perhaps they give a temporary "kick" but eventually it's a kick that knocks you out. The entertainments and stimulations connected to consumer goods ultimately lead you to addictions, worthlessness, nothingness.

So Jesus says get your true and deep satisfaction by putting your heart somewhere else: on spiritual goods. He cunningly uses banking and investment images for the same ("store up" or "save"). As John Paul II said to the United Nations, material goods decrease by usage, but spiritual goods increase by usage. Certainly your satisfaction too. Material goods lose their charm day by day, but spiritual things actually strengthen you and make your joy deeper day by day. What you love reveals who you are.

Mind you, the heaven is already here on earth. It is surely now here, that's why later too you can enjoy its fullness. What will you bet your money on?

Pattern of life

The Lord's prayer (Matthew 6:7-15) is the pattern of all prayers. The "Our Father" shows that prayer needs to be simple, as an expression of our faith and relationship because God who is "our Father knows what we need even before we ask Him" (Matthew 6:8).

The "Our Father" is not merely the pattern of all prayers, but the pattern of Christian life itself. It is a programme of life where we live in the world as God's children.

Forgiveness is central to Jesus' programme. It is the nucleus. Without it, this programme has no sense. The disciples of Jesus is called to imitate their Master, especially in forgiving others. Besides this, as the prayer itself would witness, they are invited to a deep relationship with God, their Father ("Abba"). This is the Abba experience that results from following this spiritual project. The disciples seeks not their things, but God and His Kingdom. There is also a great amount of trust that the disciples show in having God as their Father: that God will provide every day for their needs—daily needs. Moreover, God’s word is their greatest nourishment in their lives of trust. They are asked to die to their egos (false selves). Finally, the base of any spirituality is saying no to sin, and yes to God Mystery. Also a big no to the sensational, if one is interested in maturing as a disciple.

Let us learn from Jesus how to pray, and also how to live. "Lord, teach us to pray, and to live."

From Mornese to Nizza Monferrato—A Journey to Holiness

Day 6: Concluding Mass: Homily:

SAINT MARIA DOMENICA MAZZARELLO: FROM MORNESE TO NIZZA MONFERRATO—A JOURNEY TO HOLINESS. Retreat to the FMAs, Bellefonte Outreach, Shillong.

Holiness is not a favourite topic, even in the religious circles. The lively witness of holiness of St Mary Mazzarello could help us to re-focus our vision on this essential element of sanctity in our lives. Holiness is not a vocation for some, but a vocation for all. Each and every one of us is called to holiness. 

The first few pages of the newly released Apostolic Exhortation Gaudete et Exsultate (Rejoice and Be Glad) speaks of “saints next door”: imperfect people in whom the grace of God works nonetheless. We will always be imperfect people. If we acknowledge it, and allow God to work in and through us, then this can make us saints. Holiness is not about being perfect, but about acknowledging that we are imperfect. Only God is good, only God is purely holy. 

Here we are not thinking only of those already beatified and canonized. Those canonized saints are only the tip of the iceberg. Here we are talking of sanctity that is seen on the streets in our neighbourhood, even in our own circles, day in and day out. The Holy Spirit, the document says, bestows holiness in abundance among God’s people, among us all. We need to bring this holiness to the streets, to our own neighbourhood. 

Have we kept Mary Mazzarello confined to Mornese? She is a saint of the Church… Let us give her to the young people, and to the world. But of course we need new packaging. Even the young will acknowledge that holiness is attractive. 

There is an urgency to launch this new appeal to holiness. Clearly, this cannot be done merely by repeating formulas and slogans, repeating hackneyed expressions or presenting again and again the symbols that may not have any meaning in the present context. Overly synthetic expressions, when repeated too often, run the risk of eclipsing the original intuitions and questions most relevant to current practice, if not properly decoded. 

From Mornese to Nizza Monferrato. Here I want all of us to focus on the journey. Her growth into a saint is tremendous, and is worthy of imitation. If we are only going to talk praises of our saints, without imitating them, then what is the use of such a discourse? So this commemoration is not so much about Mary Mazzarello, as it is about us, about our imitating her. 

Nizza Monferrato: a city very much loved by Don Bosco, sanctified by the presence of Mary Mazzarello, and others like Blessed Maddalena Morano, Venerable Sr. Teresa Valsé Pantellini, and Mother Elisa Roncallo. 

The earthly story of this humble and great woman, Saint Mary Domenica Mazzarello – who died at Nizza Monferrato on May 14, 1881 – is a piece of history that should be incarnated in our neighbourhood. It is humility of heart which attracts God’s kindness. If one word that could describe holiness it is this: “humility.” One who gives the credit to the Other, to God, not oneself. This is sanctity. Humility is sanctity. One who is holy doesn’t have the “I” sickness”: I, me, myself, I did, I achieved, I planned it, I succeeded, I accomplished, I solved the problem, etc. (See how jarring these statements are.) The saint is precisely one who has no “I” to protect or project. His or her “I” is in conscious union with the “I AM” of God. Truly holy people are always humble people. How true in Mother Mazzarello’s life! 

Why humility? The closer you get to the Light, the more of your shadow you see. No person or group is perfect; no culture is perfect; no church is perfect; no tradition is perfect: we will all manifest truth as well as falsity, right as well as wrong, good as well as evil, knowledge as well as ignorance, light as well as darkness, holiness as well as impiety. Holiness is about growing and maturity, to begin again and again in order to grow and mature. Pope Benedict XVI puts it in an excellent way: “Holiness does not consist in not making mistakes or never sinning. Holiness grows with capacity for conversion, repentance, willingness to begin again, and above all with the capacity for reconciliation and forgiveness.” 

Each person bears traces of God, each person resonates God’s voice and His presence. One day a child, after having long contemplated the windows of the parish, said that the saints are those who let so much light pass through them. They become transparent. The saints in fact reflect the face of God, make us perceive the traits of his beauty, goodness, wisdom. This is how (with this inspiration of holiness) that Mary Mazzarello, along with Don Bosco, founded the Institute of the FMA and promoted with dedication and intelligence the work commissioned to him in Nizza for the education of girls. Do we tend to forget the contemplative aspect of our foundations? I don’t even need to mention the danger of activism, especially in our Salesian lives. Or even, the danger of reducing contemplation to mere sensationalism and devotional piety. 

Now, if Mornese gave Mary Mazzarello her existence, her life, and also the environment for her apostolic accomplishments, Nizza opened up and widened her horizons to the fullness of life. Mornese is the beginning, Nizza is the fulfillment; Mornese is the sowing, Nizza the harvest; Mornese is the source, Nizza is the river that flows to reach the ends of the world; if Mornese is compared to Bethlehem, it has to be complemented with Nizza, a Calvary experience. 

In one of Michelangelo’s masterpieces we see that the face of the Day appears finished only in the Night. The night, like death, is the place of the completed work. The face of the day can only be completely revealed when it has set. Life and death are not opposites; night and day are not opposites. The fact that life and death are “not two” is extremely difficult to grasp, not because it is so complex, but because it is so simple (Ken Wilber). We miss the unity of life and death where our ordinary mind begins to think about it (Kathleen Dowling Singh). 

So for Mary Mazzarello: in Nizza, where she lives a little over two years: from February 4, 1879 to May 14, 1881, she reaches full human and religious maturity; only here she welcomes the Lord who transfigures her consecration beyond death into eternal glory. 

Death. I’m not merely talking of the final, physical death. I’m referring to the various experiences at the House of Nizza that Mary Mazzarello had to undergo—symbolising a death to her ego in imitation of her Master and Lord. We don’t see in her any self-seeking or self-centredness. She with her first sisters at Nizza Monferrato had joyous and exhilarating experiences, but also painful hours of trepidation, of perplexity, of fear, noted both by herself in the letters, and by the Institute’s History (Cronistoria). [It is interesting to note that 44 out of 68 letters of hers are written at Nizza.] The experiences of difficulty, experienced by the community in the two years spent by Mary Mazzarello at Nizza, reveal some tremendous characteristic features of hers and the interiority and strength of her personality as a woman and educator. You will certainly remember the incident of the young Jewish woman Annetta Bedarida; and how people had shouted, “Death to the Sisters!” and many other misunderstandings connected to this event. These and some other experiences of Mary Mazzarello witness to a total self-giving, in patient suffering, to her people. Holiness without suffering seems completely incomplete! 

Nizza is not so much the end or the place of death for Mary Mazzarello, but the birth of a mature charism, and the goal of her human and spiritual journey. She herself said in an encounter with our Lord Jesus in one of her last life sequences, recorded with precision and love by Don John Baptist Lemoyne who was assisting her: “Ah, if they knew you as I now know you...!” Here, in fact, is the highest experience of her conforming into Christ, as the last years condense her entire journey into love. 

This journey of Mother Mazzarello is a journey of love. The journey of holiness is a journey of love. Love as total giving of herself. To love is to suffer, to love is to die. Here at the foot of Mother Mazzarello we learn not competition but compassion, we learn the essence of interiority, we learn simplicity, humility, dying to one’s own ego; we learn depth. From her we learn psychological wholeness and spiritual holiness. But above all, we learn how to love, how to love God: receiving love and giving love. 

Yes, dear friends, it is always time to love God. Holiness is about growing into loving God, loving oneself, and loving others. It is always time to love God. Here and now. The time is now, the place is here. Let Mother Mazzarello’s sanctity inspire our lives, concretely seen here and now amidst the people we work for in this Province, amidst the circumstances that we find ourselves in, especially as consecrated communities committed to true contemplation in action. 

May God keep you in peace and love and joy. May you all be authentic instruments of love like Mother Mazzarello.

Project of Life

Day 6: Talk 2: Concluding Talk:

PROJECT OF LIFE / SPIRITUAL PLAN (FROM HERE WHERE?). Retreat to the FMAs, Bellefonte Outreach, Shillong.

What will you do when you reach the community? What should you do? These are secondary questions. The first questions are: Am I interiorly at peace here and now? Am I spiritually okay now, to deal with this situation? Am I able to see God here and now, in this situation (positive and negative)?

From here where? The most important phase of the rocket/space-craft is the re-entry into earth’s orbit. Very crucial, it can get burnt. The same way the important import part of the retreat is returning to your community and your mission. You can easily lose the path as soon as you go into your normal life. That might happen, that will happen. It’s like the Transfiguration experience, if you like. You need to go down to the plains from the mount. The hardships of life will encounter you all the more. You can’t be in coma. If you need to reap the benefits of the foregoing six days, then you need to take a few steps, concrete steps. And keep learning every day. Another caution: you will meet with scepticism both inside you and outside you. “There is nothing new under the sun.” There are many foxes jumping on your shoulders to whisper this lie. Do you want to believe them or believe in the one who makes everything new. “Behold, I make all things new.”

To start again and again. To start anew, to start afresh is the first important thing in our spiritual life. To start now. To be converted again and again. We need to be born again and again and again.

There is a definition of insanity: doing the same things again and again, and expecting different results every time. Need to live life, enjoy life. You’ll surely make mistakes, but don’t stop living or enjoying. God is there for you! Basic message of Christianity–Jesus goes ahead of you. He is already there in the Galilee of your communities and your missions, waiting for you. Mark 16:7.

God comes to you disguised as life. Be joyful in life.

Spiritual joy has nothing to do with anything “going right.” It has everything to do with things going, and going on within you. It’s an inherent, inner aliveness. Joy is almost entirely an inside job. Joy is not first determined by the object enjoyed as much as by the prepared eye of the enjoyer. [Rohr, The Divine Dance, 86.] Joy is the result of our choices. (Happiness is an inside job!)

Joy is essential for spiritual lives. When we are not joyful, our thoughts and words cannot bear fruit. Don’t be a big kid without any fun inside. Jesus reveals to us God’s love that our joy may become complete.

Joy does not mean absence of sorrows. Joy is not about optimism. Joy has nothing to do with all the predictions that life will be better, or our economy will develop, or we shall have a better superior, a better world tomorrow. On the contrary: the best is already here and now. [Nonsense: Youth are the pillars of tomorrow. Or to a kid: What do you want to become in the future?] The world is good as it is. It is the best. This moment is the perfect moment. That’s why we plan for the present… for today… for every day. Not future. Tomorrow never comes.

Planning: an important part of life. To design our life we need timetables, plans, and of course personal plans and projects too. Failing to plan is planning to fail. That’s very much true with regard to our spiritual life too. (We can’t plan our own salvations, but we can only prepare for it. We can only prepare the soil.) When the student is ready the teacher will arrive. Planning is about “being” ready. (You cannot “get” here, you can only “be” here.)

An example of a spiritual plan – Daily spiritual project of St John XXIII, pope – who was known as the laughing pope, etc.

The Daily Decalogue of Pope Saint John XXIII

1. Only for today, I will seek to live the day positively without wishing to solve the problems of my life all at once.
2. Only for today, I will take the greatest care of my appearance: I will dress modestly; I will not raise my voice; I will be courteous in my behaviour; I will not criticize anyone; I will not claim to improve or to discipline anyone except myself.
3. Only for today, I will be happy in the certainty that I was created to be happy, not only in the other world but also in this one.
4. Only for today, I will adapt to circumstances, without requiring all circumstances to be adapted to my own wishes.
5. Only for today, I will devote 10 minutes of my time to some good reading, remembering that just as food is necessary to the life of the body, so good reading is necessary to the life of the soul.
6. Only for today, I will do one good deed and not tell anyone about it.
7. Only for today, I will do at least one thing I do not like doing; and if my feelings are hurt, I will make sure that no one notices.
8. Only for today, I will make a plan for myself: I may not follow it to the letter, but I will make it. And I will be on guard against two evils: hastiness and indecision.
9. Only for today, I will firmly believe, despite appearances, that the good Providence of God cares for me as no one else who exists in this world.
10. Only for today, I will have no fears. In particular, I will not be afraid to enjoy what is beautiful and to believe in goodness.

Indeed, for 12 hours I can certainly do what might cause me consternation were I to believe I had to do it all my life.

“I want to be kind, today and always, to everyone.”

Just For Today – AA/NA

Just for today, I will try to live through this day only, and not tackle my whole life problem at once. I can do something for twelve hours that would appall me if I felt that I had to keep it up for a lifetime.

Just for today, I will be happy. This assumes to be true what Abraham Lincoln said, that “most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be.”

Just for today, I will try to strengthen my mind. I will study. I will learn something useful. I will not be a mental loafer. I will read something that requires effort, thought and concentration.

Just for today, I will adjust myself to what is, and not try to adjust everything to my own desires. I will take my “luck” as it comes, and fit myself to it.

Just for today, I will exercise my soul in three ways: I will do somebody a good turn, and not get found out. I will do at least two things I don’t want to—just for exercise. I will not show anyone that my feelings are hurt; they may be hurt, but today I will not show it.

Just for today, I will be agreeable. I will look as well as I can, dress becomingly, talk low, act courteously, criticize not one bit, not find fault with anything and not try to improve or regulate anybody except myself.

Just for today, I will have a program. I may not follow it exactly, but I will have it. I will save myself from two pests: hurry and indecision.

Just for today, I will have a quiet half hour all by myself, and relax. During this half hour, sometime, I will try to get a better perspective of my life.

Just for today, I will be unafraid. Especially I will not be afraid to enjoy what is beautiful, and to believe that as I give to the world, so the world will give to me.

 -Kenneth Holmes.

Those were two examples of having a life plan. Now we want to see the plan of plans, the project of projects given to us by the Lord, and is called the Lord’s prayer.

Similar to: A woman’s song: One day at a time, sweet Jesus.

OUR FATHER

James Pullickal, in exile, hijacked by the extremists - New Testament - Our Father - tears. God is our Father, we are His children. Story: A kid and his father at a mela (fair). I want that ice-cream, I want that toy-car, etc. Gets lost in the crowd. Reaches the same shops, crying. I don’t want the ice-cream, I don’t want the toy, I want my dad.

As prayer itself, the pattern of all prayers. It contains praise and thanksgiving, it contains intercessions, etc. But above all it is a programme of life. Not just pattern of prayers or prayer in itself. It lends itself to be a project of spiritual and Christian life, that each and every one of us can follow. Let us see it upside down; from down upwards.

Our Father who art in heaven	“Abba” experience
Hallowed be thy name	Sacrifice of praise
Thy Kingdom come	I seek his things, his kingdom.
Thy Will be done on earth as in heaven	No more ego
Give us this day our daily bread	Listening is prayer; God’s word is nourishment.
Forgive us our trespasses	Forgive me, Lord.
As we forgive those who trespass against us	Lord, help me to forgive!
Lead us not into temptation	No to the sensational
But deliver us from evil	No to sin

Not chronological strictly; but usually the basics are down at the bottom; the excellence is on top. Sometimes, we might concentrate one above the other.

Deliver us from evil

No to sin. Any spiritual life starts with a no to evil, no to sin. Our sins are the best teachers. Don’t let go of a sin until and unless you have learned from it. Otherwise seven worse demons will come along with it back. Acknowledging that your are sinful, that you have been evil, itself is a starting point of healing and conversion. Here you may have to start again and again, be converted again and again. The flame is cleared of all ashes so that it can burn freely. A retreat experience or another’s word/deed can stir up our affection – catch hold of it. Enflame it. Fire is the symbol of the Holy Spirit.

All of us have this spark within us. This point of nothingness. We can’t do anything about it. Only God can dispose of it. Immortal Diamond. Divine DNA. Image of God. Belovedness. Rediscovering this spot is what will make us receive or give love: from/to God, others, myself. The True Self is discovered by dying to one’s false self.

Lead us not into temptation

Temptations arise from our human condition. There are three basic types of temptation (as seen clearly in Jesus’ life): (1) I am what I do: success; (2) I am what people say or think about me: popularity; (3) I am what I have: power. Jesus was asked to prove he is successful by changing stones to bread; he was asked to prove he is popular by throwing himself from the temple tower or by coming down from the cross; he was asked to prove he is powerful by accepting the kingdoms of the world or by accepting kingship. But Jesus didn’t have to prove to the world that he was worthy of love; he was already the Beloved.

We too have these three temptations in our lives. Temptations for success, popularity and power. Temptations to do the sensational or to say the trendiest thing. Temptations to identify ourselves with the worldly values. But like Jesus if we are attentive to the voice that calls us the Beloved, then we don’t have to prove to others that we need love from the wrong places—we are already His Beloved daughters and sons, we are intimately connected to him by our very existence.

I myself can do nothing; without the Lord I can do nothing. It is the Lord who leads me, he is my shepherd.

As we forgive

Lord, help me to forgive! Lack of forgiveness is a block to prayer. The central aspect of the Lord’s prayer is forgiveness. The only condition to receive mercy is to be merciful in turn. We ourselves are putting the condition: “as we” forgive. The central portion of this programme of life is to forgive and to receive forgiveness. The flow should continue. From outside (from God) into my heart, and also from my heart out into the world, to others. The moment I block the flow, life and love becomes stagnant. There is no life, there is no love.

Very often it is by forgiving others and their evil that we can fulfil and complete our otherwise subtle (or not so subtle) work on our own selves. Both these acts, therefore, take real and lasting courage. We must embrace our enemies just as much as we must welcome our own shadows. [Rohr, “Courageous Nonviolence,” Nonviolence, Meditation of September 20, 2017.] Jesus Christ is our enduring example and inspiration for forgiveness. He not only preaches forgiveness, he does it even when it is really difficult for him: he forgives his persecutors from the cross. And then, after resurrection too, the first words of Jesus to his disciples are: “Peace be with you” (Jn 20:19). There are no past stories or betrayals remembered, but only peace, only forgiveness. Even for Jesus as a human person it would have been very difficult to forgive his disciples. Though it might have been comparatively easier to forgive the Romans and the Jews, even those who ill-treated him and crucified him, to forgive his own disciples would have been more difficult. They were his own friends who betrayed him and ran away from him just when he needed them the most. But to forgive them, he did it.

What is more important here is to live and experience the forgiveness of God. Unless I experience the mercy and forgiveness of the Lord I will not be able to transfer or do the same to my fellow beings. That is what we hear from the lips of Jesus when he praises the woman who was a sinner, who anointed him: “Her sins, which are many, are forgiven—for she loved much. But he who is forgiven little, loves little” (Lk 7:47). This is clear in the parable of the unforgiving servant (Mt 18:23-35), where that wicked servant though fully forgiven, was not ready to do the same. He has not experienced the forgiveness. The parable seems very logical, but to the wicked servant there are no logical connections. What we expect him to do, he does not do it. This situation may be same with us, that is, we too can become unforgiving if we don’t experience the loving mercy and forgiveness of the Lord in a personal and felt way.

Forgiveness is central to the Lord’s prayer or the Christian programme or plan of life. Forgiveness seems to be a condition, the only condition for prayer, for relationship with God himself. Negatively, unforgiveness is the only block for prayer to be effective. At any rate, forgiveness is central for our relationship with others and with God. Thus we can say that a spirituality that does not hinge on forgiveness is not really spirituality.

Spirituality thus is also to acknowledge that I am only marginal to this universe. I am not the centre of the world. This is God’s world. From being childish, self-centred and self-oriented in my infancy, I move to a world where God is its centre, not me—I am not the centre of this universe. However, even as an adult I regress into being selfish and childish. Recognising this tendency and decentring myself is a process of spirituality. Rohr would talk about a “well-hidden narcissism” that needs to be dealt with. [Rohr, “Human Development through Scripture,” Prophets, Meditation of September 10, 2017.] Forgiveness in this sense is decentring myself, letting my ego or the false self die, and placing God at the centre of my life. To forgive my brother or sister is to die to my false self.

Forgiveness accepts the dark past with an attitude of gratefulness. It can accept contradictions and darkness that we have encountered in our lives.

Further, loving everyone is also a matter of forgiving everyone, forgiving everything, forgiving every time. A tall order. Love is not about eliminating evil or eliminating differences, even when contradictory. It is not even about excluding or ignoring the evil-doer, it is rather about including the evil doer and her actions. “To exclude anything that appears in your universe is not love. Love joins everything.” [Byron Katie, with Stephen Mitchell, A Thousand Names for Joy: Living in Harmony with the Way Things Are (New York: Random House, 2008), 72.] Love connects everything, even what seems strange and dark. Everything belongs in love. Even sin and disorder.

Forgive us

Forgive me, Lord. Tears in prayer. The Lord purifies me. Here I’m ready to receive forgiveness, my heart is light, unburdened. Confession of sins is always in a context of love; without love we don’t dare to look into our faults and mistakes. He gives us the courage to look intently at our shortcomings, and eventually correct them. So the term confession is more for praising God, rather than of confessing faults. Only in a forgiving embrace of a loving father can the prodigal be restored to true unity, only then can a true repentance come (see the reflection on the Prodigal Father).

Give us our bread

Listening is prayer; God’s word is nourishment. I don’t need many words for prayer – more silence than speaking. So far I’ve been speaking, now I listen to God’s voice. Prayer is listening to God calling me the Beloved. I am His Beloved, I realise this in silence and trust. Increasing simplicity and passivity in prayer (Lonergan, Method in Theology, 240).

“Daily”: “Today”: Just for today, everyday you will give us… just for today, give us our bread. Trust in providence and God’s goodness, because he is our Parent, our Father and Mother. I don’t have to hoard or be overworried about tomorrow. Only for this day.

On Earth as in Heaven

As above, so below. As within, so without. The universe is a holon: simultaneously a whole and a part. Each part contains and mirrors the whole. We are wholes within wholes. As now, so later. Heaven is surely now, that’s why it’s later also. Earth is crammed with heaven. Every bush is a “burning bush.”

Thy Will be done

The flame is burning freely and it burns away all evil, sin, selfishness. No more ego. God’s will and his kingdom is primary. There are wounds, but they give me joy. Wounds for the Lord. Remember Jesus’ prayer at Gethsemane. Prayer and suffering are united. Mother Teresa of Calcutta: terrible darkness.

Thy Kingdom come

There are no more ‘my’ joys, ‘my’ pleasures. I seek his things, his kingdom. God is my King, my Master, my Lord, my God.

Hallowed be thy name

This is a sacrifice of praise; my life is for the glory of God. Could learn from charismatics, pentecostals, other denominations: Thank Him always. We cannot pronounce his name. Unspeakable. Only breathe his name. YHWH. We breathe holiness in and out.

Our Father

“Abba experience” – God experience – Jesus experience; mystical prayer, contemplation: a gift. Religious experience is being grasped my ultimate concern. It is falling in love in an unrestricted way; falling in love with God who is our mother and our father, who is concerned about me more than I’m concerned about myself. Familiarity with God, J. Jeremias = Abba. God is my Parent, Transcendent and Immanent. He takes care of me: faith, trust, child-like confidence.

Image of God: Positive or negative? Without Him we will fall into nothingness – my Creator; means that at this moment I need Him.

Prayer becomes increasingly simple, even passive. To be simple, to live simple is not that easy: because the world teaches us to be more and more, to do more and more, buy more, consume more, climb the ladder – defeat more and more people, more and more people need to be below you, etc. That’s why a simple life is not that easy. It is a matter of saying enough, I have enough, I don’t want more.

Religious experience is the same as religious conversion, conscious but not known, dynamic state of being in love. Our call to Abba experience is mysticism, being united like the branches with the vine, a call to contemplation. The divine in me sees/meets the divine in the world.

The way up

Cooperative grace. Our prayer is only a response to God’s initiative. Prayer is more what is done to us, than what we do. (Increasing passivity.) Rom 8:26 “It is the Spirit that prays in us with sighs too deep for words.” Our desire for God. All other desires are to be ordered around this desire for God. Our being is desiring. (See the introductory talk.) Our desire for God is itself a gift from God. “No one can long for God unless God is present in his/her heart.” The movement of our spirit towards God. “Did not our hearts burns?” The way up stands for my efforts, but only as a loving response to God’s invitation to be love. Starts with no to sin. Or self-control, a fruit of the Holy Spirit. Self-control, through gentleness, faithfulness, goodness, kindness, patience, peace and joy, to LOVE. But God’s gift is way down, from LOVE through joy and peace ... to self-control. (Gal 5:22) See Rom 5:5 “Love of God has been poured into our hearts by the Spirit who has been given to us.” Grace is both a gift and an effort. Never separated from each other. “The God who created you without you will not save you without you.” (St Augustine) You take one step towards God and God takes ten steps towards you, or rather, you realize He has taken so many steps towards you even before you think about returning to God. The heart of stone has been plucked out to replace it with a heart of flesh to love alone. The heart of flesh can now cooperate with God’s plan, with God’s grace to express itself in good deeds, words.

The way down

Operative grace. God’s desire for us. God’s thirst for us. That is, the Holy Spirit. Abba experience. This is the primary way. Christ on the cross is the symbol of God’s hunger and thirst for us: “I thirst.” In Jesus Christ, all the contradictions and opposites meet: “He has a masculine body, with a feminine spirit; he is God and Man; he is dead and gives life, lives forever; the shame of the cross becomes the symbol of salvation; in his desperation we have hope and trust; he the Sinless One becomes ‘sin’ for us; he is weak and he is strong and powerful; human yet divine; heavenly yet earthly; physical yet spiritual; killed yet alive; powerless yet powerful; victim yet victor; failure yet redeemer; marginalized yet central; singular yet everyone; incarnate yet cosmic; nailed yet liberated. Jesus is the living collison of all opposites, he is the very template of total paradox.”

The people who hold the contradictions—and resolve them in themselves—are the saviours of the world. They are agents of transformation, reconciliation, and newness. That’s when they fulfill Isaiah’s prophecy: “The wolf will live with the lamb, the leopard will lie down with the goat, the calf and the lion and the yearling together; and a little child will Holding creatively the contradictions and inconsistencies, and the tensions created by them thus seems to be an essential task of spirituality. “We are better persons when we carry tension, as opposed to always looking for its easy resolution.” Carrying a creative tension.

Family, friendship, companionship, fellowship, marriage, religious life, and umpteen other ways are lived pre-reasoning. God provides, cares for us in 101 ways. The divine may remain anonymous. But this is the primary way, not the way up. 95% or even more of our lives, dealing with others and the world is via this way.

Grace and Holy Spirit

Grace means light and strength; Holy Spirit is light and strength. Grace is not a thing, not just a gift, not in the plural, but grace is the person of the Holy Spirit. Grace is everything, everything is grace. If I am attuned to the movements of the Spirit in me, then I can discern the same Spirit indwelling in others, I can discern the movements of the Spirit in the world. Christian de Cherge in his final letter: “Even the one who kills me is helping me to do His will.” (See Stephanie Saldaña’s article.) We are fused into reality, similarly, we are fused into grace. All around us and within us is grace, above, below, front and back, within and without, everywhere and everything is grace, nothing but grace.

Grace builds on nature; it does not avoid or destroy nature. It perfects nature.

Conclusion: Any dream will do. “If your only goal is to love, then there is no such thing as failure.” I’d want you to carry one gift for your community, even for your mission. What is it? The gift of vulnerability. Vulnus = wound. There is a possibility of hurting you back. There is risk. Shadow. Remove your mask. (One mask at a time, one wound at a time. Wounded healer.)

Alcoholic - worst possible thing - ruined his marriage, lost his children - but it is the greatest thing that ever happened to me - everything belongs. When an old drunk can say alcoholism was the greatest gift God ever gave him, then everything surely belongs. Logically that doesn’t make sense, but theo-logically it does. (Teacher to student: 2 mangoes + 2 more mangoes = 5 mangoes. But strawberries correct answer. One hidden mango – in the bag. Student practically correct; teacher technically correct.)

Another way to see the “Our Father” is that it is a positive rendition, or a prayerful rendition of the ten commandments. (Remember laws are negatively put, but in prayer, it is made postive. So instead of “You shall not profane the name of the Lord,” we have “Hallowed be thy name/let your name be holy” in a positive, prayerful mood.) This also proves that this prayer of Our Father is more than a prayer, but a spiritual project, to live well, to live according to God’s will and God’s word. Matthean gospel will give us the full meditation of this “You have heard it said, but I say to you...”

Belongingness vs Belovedness

Day 6: Talk 1: BELONGINGNESS vs BELOVEDNESS. Retreat to the FMAs, Bellefonte Outreach, Shillong.

A little story from Henri Nouwen’s life:

Henri Nouwen describes how, one day, a differently abled community member named Janet came up and asked him for a blessing. Henri was distracted by other things, so he quickly traced the sign of the cross on her forehead.

“No,” protested Janet. “I want a real blessing!”

Henri understood, then, how he had been insensitive to her need. He promised that, at the next prayer service, he would have a special blessing for her.

At the end of the prayer service, about thirty people were sitting in a circle on the floor. Henri announced, “Janet has asked me for a special blessing.”

He didn’t quite know what she was seeking from him, but her next move left no doubt. She walked up to him and wrapped her arms around him. As he embraced her in return, her slight form was almost covered by the folds of the white robe he wore while leading worship.

As they held each other, Henri said “Janet, I want you to know that you are God’s Beloved Daughter. You are precious in God’s eyes. Your beautiful smile, your kindness to the people in your house, and all the good things you do show what a beautiful human being you are. I know you feel a little low these days and that there is some sadness in your heart, but I want you to remember who you are: a very special person, deeply loved by God and all the people who are here with you.”

Janet raised her head and looked at him. Her beaming smile told him that she had truly understood and received the blessing.

What happened next was unexpected. As Janet returned to her place, another woman raised her hand. She, too, wanted a blessing. She stood up and embraced Henri, too, laying her face against his chest. After that, a great many more of the differently abled members of the community took their turn, coming up for the same sort of blessing.

For Henri, the most touching moment was when one of the assistants, a twenty-four-year-old college student, raised his hand and asked, “And what about me?” John was a big, burly young man, an athlete. Henri did the same with him, wrapping his arms around him and saying, “John, it is so good that you are here. You are God’s Beloved Son…”

John looked back with tears in his eyes and simply said, “Thank you, thank you very much.”

When things are difficult and life is hard, remember who you are: you are a special person. You are deeply loved by God and by all those who are with you.

We are God’s Beloved; we belong to God. We are already the children of God.

We need to reclaim this Belovedness of ours. Again and again.

1 John 3:1-2. “See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! Dear friends, now we are children of God, and what we will be has not yet been made known. But we know that when Christ appears, we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is.”

It is easier to belong to a group than to belong to God. Both these must go hand in hand, but it goes without saying that belonging to God is more important than belonging to a group.

In our ministry what do we insist on? Belonging to God, or belonging to our parish/ our community/ our congregation/ our church…?

Do people come to church out of fear or out of love? Do they/we know that they are the Beloved of God? That God loves them without conditions or expectations?

We seem to be worshipping the Way, more than walking the Way. Jesus said, “Follow me,” and didn’t want any worship. Doing the journey is more important than worshipping the journey.

Do not pull Christ out of the Trinity? Cosmic Christ. John 1:1. Colossians 3:11. God is continuously speaking to / communicating with / revealing himself to / relating with you. This is the Word of God. Image Became Flesh. Christ. We can touch God. God reveals himself through: nature, parents, sisters, enemies, church, bible, sacraments, other religions, atheists.

Often the very things that don’t appeal to us have the most to teach us spiritually. So much of our lives is dictated by our preferences, what we like and don’t like. We all naturally gravitate toward what we find attractive, and there’s nothing inherently wrong with that. But we need to be aware that there are things deeper than our preferences. If we do not recognize that, we will follow them addictively and never uncover our soul’s deeper desires.

Christianity should not be an evacuation plan to the next world. Or we priests and religious should not be merely involved in “sin management.”

In unhealthy religion, we’ve felt this pathological need to make everybody the same; church has become an exclusionary institution instead of this great banquet feast where Jesus constantly invites in sinners, outcasts, the marginalized, the ne’er-do-wells. Matthew 22 gives this story.

How much are we able to include the bad people in our circle? This is the true test of our religion, of Christianity? Am I able to love all the wrong people? Samaritans, prostitutes, tax collectors, Hindutva and ISIS fundamentalists, Mr Modi, and all the wrong and unjust people that I can think of at this moment. Am I able to love all the bad people, wrong people, the people who are not worthy of any love? The true test of spirituality is about including the outsider.

Church is a collection of sinners and saints, bad and good people, dirty and clean, disobedient and obedient, virgins and prostitutes, unruly, uncouth, and refined persons, LGBTQIA.

Let us celebrate differences.

I’m advocating for openness: let us accept and celebrate truth, goodness, beauty, holiness wherever it’s found.

Boundaries are important, identities are significant; but nothing is absolute except God. Making anything else absolute except God is called idolatry.

There are no boundaries in nature, only lines. They are merely contrasts. Perhaps the divisions are in our mind. Therefore, growth is expansion of our consciousness, expansion of our horizons. It is about collapsing all boundaries, to integrate all the alienated aspects of ourselves.

In God’s sight, there are no divisions. In his sight, there is nothing ugly. Everything is beautiful.

We discover God within a group or a structure. We have God-experience within a group, that does not mean that the group is greater than God Himself. This is the mystery of our lives.

Group-think should not become a substitute for God-think. Otherwise, we will believe that God is found only by our group. We then claim that identification with our group is the only way to serve God. If that is the case, what is the difference between other religion fundamentalists and us?

People who talk like me, who look like me or think like me don’t threaten my boundaries. My ego wants this uniformity; my ego is comfortable with uniformity, not differences. But my point is not to break the boundaries or our indentities.. they are needed. Yet they are not absolute. We need to keep expanding our boundaries.

Let us not become some pujaris who are interested in serving our own selfish interests. Let us go out on to the streets, even get dirty as Pope Francis would advise us; the church is not about locking ourselves in and not getting ourselves dirty. The church is a field hospital. We are wounded healers.

Our people have the right to know that they are loved by God unconditionally, even when they don’t pay their monthly subscriptions. Even when they are not regular for the church services. Not regular for meditation or prayers. You see, love is a dangerous thing: it brings in a lot of disorder. Be happy with the disorder, rather than the artificial order that you can bring about. I’m not concerned about the order or the disorder, but my focus is the re-order that only one, only Him who can bring about. My God is a God of history, who is incarnate flesh and blood in this material world.

Interestingly such a work is not an outside work, but an interior, inside work. Without this solid interiority we cannot work for others’ good. In fact, I had started my talk with this topic: Belovedness. We are God’s Beloved, His loved ones.

Unless we affirm ourselves on this, I don’t think we will able to give our best. We are loved unconditionally by God. We need to experience this unfailing love of God, shown in Jesus Christ, our Saviour.

God is for us. We can’t diminish God’s love for us. What we can do, however, is learn how to believe it, receive it, trust it, allow it, and celebrate it, accepting Trinity’s whirling invitation to join in the cosmic dance.

That’s why all spirituality comes down to how you’re doing life right now. How you do anything is how you do everything.

The world is good. God is good. God is for you. The world is for you, not against you. The world is not gloom and doom as our television channels and newspapers and “bad news” media project minute after minute. I’m not denying there is evil, injustice, war and violence… but isn’t it also true that it is not the whole picture of the world or of reality?

Talking about the different ways in which we can work about our inside, about our interiority: I said, am I able to open up to at least one person—who knows all my secrets, and who can receive me unjudgmentally, unconditionally. This is not easy. You need to lose yourself, die to your false self, let go of your ego.

All spirituality is about dying or letting go. Every Eucharist, every sacrament is about dying, about letting go. Even love is about letting go: about emptying ourselves, kenosis. True community living is also about emptying ourselves. Emptying our pre-judgments, biases, giving up our blindness.

These are some of the ways we need in order to let go of our false selves: prayer, reflection, contemplation, meditation, silence, reading a serious book, watching an inspiring movie, taking a walk, enjoying a sunset or a sunrise or a natural scenery, having a chat with a dear one, opening ourselves to a spiritual director, and umpteen ways of getting into ourselves.

Why my insistence on a life of interiority. St Teresa of Avila: “It is foolish to think that we will enter heaven without entering into ourselves.”

In the contemplative sit of 20-30 minutes, as a woman: I am not beautiful. I am not charming enough. I am not capable enough. Wait and observe, and have patience, and only then we will hear the thin and feeble voice speaking of light, joy, peace, and love. It will call you the Beloved. (Praying is listening. To pray is to listen to the voice that calls you the beloved.)

Love the mess that you are. Breathe in and breathe out “I love you” in the mess and disorder that you see in yourself and in others.

We don’t like being what we are; and worse, we always want be someone else. We’re mimetic and envious. We’ve traded our instincts for aspirations, wishing we were thinner, or taller, or more handsome, or whatever, anything other than this little incarnation that we are for one gorgeous moment in time. We have a hard time finding grace in “just this”!

All I can give back to God, and all that God wants, is what God has first given to me: this little moment of incarnation, my little “I am” that echoes the great and eternal I AM in grateful awareness. (YHWH)

You are precious. You are Beloved. You are special. At the same time, each and every one is special. You are the centre of history, but also completely indispensable. Only God is absolute, important, and at the centre. His centre is everywhere, and his circumference nowhere.

The Man Born Blind

Day 6: Meditation Talk: THE MAN BORN BLIND. Retreat to the FMAs, Bellefonte Outreach, Shillong.

John’s gospel was not written by one person… latest of all gospels. Developed Christology. Long passages and reflections, one such is about Jesus healing the man born blind (John 9).

Spirituality is about seeing. It’s not about achieving; or earning something. It’s about relationship; not about results. Once you see, the rest follows. It’s like you are in the river. The river is already flowing. You don’t have to push the river, because you are in it. The life is lived within us, and we learn how to say yes to that life. Trust the flow, trust the life that is within you. Your life is not about you, but you are about Life. “I live now not I, but Another Life lives in me” (Galatians 2:20). Life is so large and deep and spacious that it even includes its opposite, death.

We have to learn to see what is there. For the past few days, we have been learning here “how” to see. Not what to see. The point is to see what is already there. We need to learn how to see whatever is there. We don’t dictate to reality, but we accept whatever comes to us. We don’t divide the field. Contemplation is training you to see the overlooked wholeness in all things.

So we need to get rid of all illusions so that we can be truly present to reality. To life in itself. In that way, we can see what is, see who we are, and see what is happening. According to Jesus in this miracle story of John 9, nothing is more dangerous than people who presume they already see.

The story begins with a simple brilliant statement. Jesus sees the man born blind. The observation is brilliant because it so simply captures what Jesus does. Then when the disciples ask him, “Now, who has sinned because this man was born blind, his parents or himself?” But Jesus dismisses the entire argument and moves it to another level sacramentally. He uses mud to anoint the man’s eyes and the blindness is healed. The rest of the chapter narrates how “good” people fight Jesus for doing this.

The Pharisees are not able to see what Jesus did. They argue that Jesus cannot be from God so the healing cannot have really happened—even though it is clear it did. It’s right in front of them. They ignore this evidence and make a logical and theological argument: a sinner can’t work miracles and Jesus hasn’t worked a miracle. Jesus broke the Sabbath so he’s a sinner.

In the final paragraph, the Pharisees accuse the man himself of being a sinner. They see sin everywhere except in themselves. “You, a sinner through and through, who are you to tell us?” The man is shrewd enough not to get into theological debate. He sticks to his story. “All I know is that I was blind and now I see.”

The whole story is about seeing, and illumination. In this passage, Jesus ends with a final devastating line: “It is for judgment that I have come into the world. So those without sight may see and those with sight be turned blind” (9:39). Hearing this, the Pharisees say, “We are not blind, surely.” Meaning, we are orthodox, good Jews. We practise all that is prescribed in the Law. We are good Christians, we go to church every Sunday. We are religious, we are priests. We know. We are not blind. Jesus relpies, “Blind? If you were, you would not be guilty. But since you say, ‘We see,’ your guilt remains” (9:41).

The Pharisees become blind. They demonstrate their blindness, stubborn attitude, and live a denial. We too have our blindnesses, our denials. This is our sinfulness, not just those little acts of anger, lust, and disobediences… those little acts of naughtiness. The chosen blindness of ours, that needs light and healing.

People who do not believe in miracles never see miracles. We need to train our eyes to see. We need the light of the Holy Spirit. We don’t see things as they are; we see things as we are. So we need to cleanse the lens from the inside. We need help from the inside, from the One who dwells inside. That’s why our prayer is, “Lord, let me see.” Prayer is not one of those 10,000 things, but it is by which you see those 10,000 things. Everything becomes enchanting with true sight.

We always become what we behold. We become what we eat; we become what we read; we become what we take in; we become what we see. I am now a part of what I am trying to see. It’s exactly the principle: We know by what we are. Our perceptions are nothing but the projections of my depth – both conscious and “unconscious.” I see what I project on to reality. Therefore, by contemplative seeing, everything in the universe becomes a mirror. We are immersed into this Fuller Reality, we are fused into grace, we are stuck into this consciousness. I allow the divine in me to take control of all the reality around me. Less of me, more of Him. Jesus says, “I am the Light of the world” (9:5).

Let the God in me see the God in the world. Let the divine in me see the divine in the world. Let us have the discipline by which we begin to see God in our heart. If I see God in my heart, I will see God everywhere. If I see demons in my heart, I will see demons in everyone.

Through the discipline of prayer we awaken ourselves to the God in us and let God enter into our heartbeat and our breathing, into our thoughts and emotions, our hearing, seeing, touching, and tasting. It is by being awake to this God in us that we can see God in the world around us. The great mystery of the contemplative life is not that we see God in the world, but that God within us recognizes God in the world. God speaks to God, Spirit speaks to Spirit, heart speaks to heart. Contemplation or true prayer, therefore, is a participation in this divine self-recognition. It is the divine Spirit praying in us who makes our world transparent and opens our eyes to the presence of the divine Spirit in all that surrounds us. It is with our heart of hearts that we see the heart of the world. “In your Light, O God, we see Light.”

Let us resolve to be sight-giving, and life-giving. That’s what Jesus is inviting us to be. Here and now. Let us allow the light of the Holy Spirit shine through us, so that we may see with God’s eyes. Here and now.

Hindus go to the temple to allow God to see them. This is called darshan. Can we allow God to see our total selves as we are, and ask Him throw light on ourselves? 

Praying, fasting, caring

Praying, fasting, and caring for others (Matthew 6:1-6, 16-18) are three pillars not only of Christianity but of many religions. Jesus asks his disciples to avoid show with regard to these religious practices.

For instance, praying is a way of relating to God and not showing off one's virtues. We can derive three do's and three don'ts of prayer. Don'ts: (1) Don't pray like hypocrites. Avoid all show. (2) Don't pray like Gentiles. That is, don't use too many words. God knows whatever you need even before you start your prayers. Don’t use meaningless words. Mean what you pray. (3) Don't pray like beggars. Pray like children, as children would approach their Father for whatever they need. God knows your needs more than you yourself know. God provides for you as a good Father. And as children, you have a right to God's gifts; if you need God will give you. Have faith.

The three Do's of prayer therefore: (1) Go to your private room. That is, enter into your heart and pray. Jesus doesn't mean that you need a private place in order to pray. [In Jesus' time, even the idea of private rooms wouldn't have risen, I suppose.] (2) Shut yourself in. Don't just use your senses and imaginations, but also allow your heart to participate in prayer. (3) Pray to your Father in heaven. Be aware of the presence of God wherever you are. Pray to God, don't be involved in mental arguments with yourself or some other human person.

Prayer is a relationship with God, your Parent. Prayer is not about changing God's mind, but changing your mind according to His will. Not just your mind, it is about changing your heart. In prayer, just report for duty, don't give God instructions. He knows better. He knows the best. He knows everything, including you and your urgent needs.

Vocational Discernment

Day 5: Homily: VOCATIONAL DISCERNMENT. Retreat to the FMAs, Bellefonte Outreach, Shillong. 

Samuel – Eli. Speak, Lord, your servant is listening.

Jesus call his first disciples. Immediately they left. Risk takers, not security freaks. Mark 1:14-20. 

Who you are in God is who you are. Your identity.

Eli is not able to discern God's voice calling Samuel. He thought of himself, not God. That's why visions were rare those days, as the passage of the call of Samuel says.

We need to accompany the young not only to finish their schooling, but help them arrive where God wants them to be. This is vocational discernment. It is about guiding the youngsters to where God wants them to be at the moment, and move towards in accomplishing God’s will in their lives.

Discernment is a special process. We can talk of a discerning buyer, who can distinguish the best, or the better ones in a group. In life too we face many situations, even dilemmas, what to choose, what to leave. 

Discernment is not a choice between good and bad, it is not merely about using our freedom to decide and choose good over evil. That should be clear: as religious men and women there is no choice or option for evil. Choosing evil as evil is out of our books. God has created me to do good always, and avoid evil at all costs and thus do good. Interestingly, and unfortunately, we have misunderstood this. Jesus’ definition of an evil person is one who does not do good. But we (or the world) has twisted this definition to talk about a good person. We say that a good person is one who does not do evil. Oh, this is what we have done to Jesus’ words very many times. Merely avoiding evil is not enough, we human beings are created to do good, and do good always. 

Discernment, therefore, is a choice between two (or more) goods. When there are two good things, what to choose: that is the question. It is a process of coming to understand what is better; which is better of the two or more things. Which is more valuable? 

Nouwen: Christian discernment is not the same as decision making. Reaching a decision can be straightforward: we consider our goals and options; maybe we list the pros and cons of each possible choice; and then we choose the action that meets our goal most effectively. Discernment, on the other hand, is about listening and responding to that place within us where our deepest desires align with God’s desire. As discerning people, we sift through our impulses, motives, and options to discover which ones lead us closer to divine love and compassion for ourselves and other people and which ones lead us further away. 

Discernment reveals new priorities, directions, and gifts from God. We come to realize that what previously seemed so important for our lives loses its power over us. Our desire to be successful, well liked and influential becomes increasingly less important as we move closer to God’s heart. To our surprise, we even may experience a strange inner freedom to follow a new call or direction as previous concerns move into the background of our consciousness. We begin to see the beauty of the small and hidden life that Jesus lived in Nazareth. Most rewarding of all is the discovery that as we pray more each day, God’s will—that is, God’s concrete ways of loving us and our world—gradually is made known to us. 

Discernment = paying attention to what is deepest and best within us, and acting faithfully in accordance with what is deepest and best. 

Paul to the Corinthians. Whether to eat meat or not. Two values involved here. Value of knowledge vs value of love. St Paul. 1 Cor 8. 

When there is a choice between the value of knowledge and the value of love, discernment tells us that we choose love over knowledge. 

He says think what is beneficial (greater good) for the other. 1 Cor 10:23; 6:12. 

For example, the beef problem in India. (Not so much here in Meghalaya, but in Maharashtra or other places where beef is banned.) The value of knowledge instructs us that it is nothing wrong with eating beef, as you would mutton or any other meat. But the value of love instructs us to think of Hindus as our brothers and sisters. For the sake of love (though I know it is no wrong in eating beef or asking others to do the same) I decide not to eat beef. I’m thus one with them as a brother or sister. 

Similarly, when there is a conflict between the diocese and the religious (sisters or fathers or brothers), I can choose the virtue of love/charity over the virtue of knowledge/truth itself. In fact, by insisting on my right I can sin. I can become a cause of sin itself. 

Too much prominence to ourselves? 

During our moments of examen of conscience what do I focus on? Is the focus on evil? But the focus should be: Have I missed doing any good? 

Move out for the greater need. Jesus: other villages too need me.