Inner Life

Day 1: Talk 1: INNER LIFE. Retreat to the FMAs, Bellefonte Outreach, Shillong.

The time given for meditation seems to be a time wasted. Many of us don’t enjoy this time. Why? We are called to be contemplatives even in action; but we find it difficult to spend half an hour in good solid meditation. We like to miss it, more than have it.

Our vocation is connected with our prayer, and particularly meditation. To meditate daily is to have chosen, accepted, and surrendered to a vocation. It is a vocation that places us at the centre of history and yet also at its very edge, because most people will see us as innocuous, pious, or maybe even self-centred. That poverty might well be our deepest charity.

Put God at the centre of your meditation. Focus on God. Concentrate on the person of God. Be conscious of the person you are talking to, addressing, interacting, arguing. The gospels were written that we identify ourselves with Jesus, not with Zacchaeus, or the Samaritan woman, or Peter, or John, or others. They maybe good starting points, but the person you need to identify with is Jesus Christ himself.

A contemplative is one who draws every moment from the divine; not from herself/himself.

When you write your meditation, you can have a follow-up of the process. You will be able to evaluate your prayer, meditation, your prayer life. During this retreat, you may write all your prayers. In a way, you may avoid distractions. At the end of the meditation, please respond with a foundational “yes.”

Fragmentation of consciousness. A reality of the postmodern world. Meditation even merely as a technique will make you aware of this reality in ourselves. Furthermore, meditation as prayer will help you put God at the centre of your being. Our single-minded dedication is fostered.

FDR (Franklin Delano Roosevelt) – nobody listens to me – to guests “I killed my grandmother.” Bolivian ambassador: “She must have done something to really deserve it.”

When we sit in prayer, what happens? We hear sounds, lots of them... we hear voices, plenty of them. First normal reaction to all these sounds: escape, run away, distract, make use of the time: make a call, listen to music, read a book, etc. When we persevere to sit and sit and only then we learn to pray. Pray and pray more, that is the best method of praying. Sit, and persevere to sit, that is the best way to listen to a voice, a thin and feeble voice that speaks to us despite the loud sounds and noises and various voices that surround our prayer time. Our consistency and constancy and perseverance only can help us to trust that feeble voice, that comes from far away. At first, very difficult to trust that voice. Then, to get trained to listen to it.... that’s the next difficulty. If we persevere to sit and listen to that voice days and days together, we will hear of this voice speaking of light, joy, peace, and love. It will call you the Beloved. (Praying is listening. To pray is to listen to the voice that calls you the beloved.) “Let us listen for the voice of the Lord and enter into his peace” (invitatory antiphon).

We have to wait and observe. That’s what happens in the early stages of contemplation. We wait in silence. In silence all our usual patterns assault us. Our patterns of control, addiction, negativity, tension, anger, and fear assert themselves. That’s why most people give up rather quickly. When Jesus is led by the Spirit into the wilderness, the first things that show up are wild beasts (Mark 1:13). Contemplation is not first of all consoling. It’s only real.

At this stage, go into the closet. Go into your room and shut the door (Mt 6:6). Only then, when you stop the parade of new voices and idea, will you see the underlying and ever-recurring patterns. It is a humiliating experience. The first voices we hear are normally negative. They are paranoid and obsessive voices. They are agenda-driven and insecure voices. They are lustful and lazy voices. You will want to run, I assure you.

“Lord, teach us to pray.” (Lk 11:1) Every time we need to remind ourselves that “we do not know how to pray.” (Rom 8:27) This is the right attitude as we begin to pray. We are disciples; we are weak. “Lord, teach us to pray.” This in itself is a prayer, moreover you ask the Lord himself, the Spirit himself to help us in our endeavour. “It is the Spirit that prays in us with sighs too deep for words.” This is the right attitude of prayer.

Mt 5:3, Three Don’ts of Prayer:

1. Don’t pray like hypocrites.

2. Don’t pray like gentiles.

3. Don’t pray like beggars.

Mt 5:3, Three Do’s of Prayer:

1. Go to your private room.

2. Shut yourself in.

3. Pray to your Father in heaven.

Don’t pray like hypocrites. Their motive to pray is to show off. They have had their reward.

Don’t pray like gentiles. Don’t heap up phrases which are meaningless. Don’t use meaningless words. Mean what you pray.

Don’t pray like beggars. God knows what you need even before you pray. He knows your needs more than you know yourself. 

The three do’s of prayer will help us enter into prayer.

Go to your private room. Private room = enter into your self: mind and heart. Inner room is Christ.

Close the door. Shut yourself in. Away from senses and imagination. Away from distractions.

Pray to your Father. Presence of God. You must know to whom you are praying.

The Jesus Prayer. “Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy upon me.” Remarkable story of a Russian peasant who wandered through his vast country discovering with growing amazement and inner joy the marvellous fruits of the Jesus prayer. You will find this in The Way of the Pilgrim (I’ve taken in it from Henri Nouwen).

“By the grace of God I am a Christian man, but by my actions a great sinner. On the 24th Sunday after Pentecost I went to the church to say my prayers during the liturgy. The first Epistle of St Paul to the Thessalonians was being read, and among other words I heard these – ‘Pray without ceasing’ [1 Thess 5:17]. It was this text, more than any other, which forced itself upon my mind, and I began to think how it was possible to pray without ceasing, since a man has to concern himself with other things also in order to make a living.”

The peasant went from church to church to listen to sermons but did not find the answer he desired. Finally, he met a holy staretz, who said to him: “Ceaseless interior prayer is a continual yearning of the human spirit toward God. To succeed in this consoling exercise we must pray more often to God to teach us to pray without ceasing. Pray more, and pray more fervently. It is prayer itself which will reveal to you it can be achieved unceasingly; but it will take some time.”

Then the holy staretz taught the peasant the Jesus Prayer: “Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me.” While travelling as a pilgrim through Russia, the peasant repeats this prayer thousands of times with his lips…. He even considers the Jesus Prayer to be his true companion. And then one day he has the feeling that the prayer by its own action passes from his lips to his heart. He says: “It seemed as though my heart in its ordinary beating began to say the words of the Prayer within at each beat… . I gave up saying the Prayer with my lips. I simply listened carefully to what my heart was saying.”

If prayer were just an intelligent exercise of our mind, we would soon become stranded in fruitless and trivial inner debates with God. If, on the other hand, prayer would involve only our heart, we might soon think that good prayers consist in good feelings. But the prayer of the heart in the most profound sense unites mind and heart in the intimacy of the divine love.

What is Prayer? We have questions, irritations, even doubts about prayer. They are very real. But still, a spiritual life without prayer is like the Gospel without Christ. Clarity about the idea of prayer is needed, even if we do not have a grand and systematic theory of prayer.

When we think about prayer, we usually regard it as one of the many things we do to live a full and mature Christian life. If we are fervent in our conviction that prayer is important, we might even be willing to give

a whole hour to prayer every day, or

a whole day every month, or

a whole week every year.

Thus prayer becomes an important part of our life.

But when St Paul speaks about prayer, he uses a very different language. He does not speak about prayer as a part of life. He does not mention prayer as something we should not forget. Prayer is all of life. Prayer is our ongoing concern. To always pray and not lose confidence/trust in God (Luke 18:1).

Paul does not exhort his readers to pray once in a while, regularly, or often, but without hesitation admonishes them to pray constantly, unceasingly, without interruption. He does not ask us to spend some of every day in prayer. No, Paul is much more radical. He asks us to pray day and night, in joy and in sorrow, at work and at play, without intermissions or breaks. For Paul, praying is like breathing. It cannot be interrupted without mortal danger.

Prayer is not one of the ten thousand things; it’s that by which we see the ten thousand things. In prayer we see all things in a new light. Praying is living in the here and now.

Praying is living. Praying pervades every aspect of our lives. It is the unceasing recognition that God is wherever we are, always inviting us to come closer to celebrate the divine gift of being alive.

Prayer is a relationship primarily. Not an act. Not an activity. Which one would be better? “She missed his prayers” or “She is not a prayerful person.” Unless you pray very often, you cannot be a prayerful person. In fact, a prayerful person always wants more and more time to be with God and God alone.

“Prayer is the key expression of faith. ... Think of the gamut of emotions found the psalms – from confusion to gratitude, from rage to tenderness, and from painful questioning to being filled with hope again. Christian prayer means relaxing into the reality of being loved by God, in order to rise, each day, into the gritty realism of loving.” [Gallagher, Faith Maps, 151-152.]

To pray unceasingly would be completely impossible if it meant to think constantly about God. It means to think and live in the presence of God. But if we begin to divide our thoughts into thoughts about God and thought about people and events, we remove God from our daily life to pious little niche where we can think pious thought and experience pious feelings.

In our spiritual life we need to set apart time for God and God alone. But please don’t restrict prayer to that 20 or 30 minutes. Prayer can only become unceasing prayer when all our thoughts – beautiful or ugly, high or low, proud or shameful, sorrowful or joyful – can be thought in the presence of God.

To pray unceasingly is to lead all our thoughts out of their fearful isolation into fearless conversation with God. Jesus: a life lived in the presence of God his Father. He kept nothing hidden from his Father’s face. His joys, his fears, his hopes, and his despairs were always shared with his Father.

Prayer is not introspection. It is not a scrupulous, inward-looking analysis of our thoughts and feelings but a careful attentiveness to the One who invites us to an unceasing conversation. It is a heart-to-heart colloquy. Centre to centre.

Can I present all my thoughts, all my dreams – daydreams and night dreams to our loving Father?

But don’t we use the word “prayer” mostly when we feel that our human limits are reached? Isn’t the word “prayer” more a word to indicate powerlessness rather than a creative contact with the source of life? Prayer is often considered a weakness, a support system.

Prayer pulls us away from self-preoccupations, encourages us to leave familiar ground, and challenges us to enter into a new world which cannot be contained within the narrow boundaries of our mind or heart.

Prayer is reaching out to God, not on our own terms but on God’s terms. It is a great adventure, therefore. The God with whom we enter into a new relationship is greater than we are and defies all our calculations and predictions. It is movement from false certainties to true uncertainties.

Jesus leaves little doubt about the meaning of prayer when he says: “Apart from me you can do nothing; those who dwell in me as I dwell in them, bear much fruit” (John 15:5). Dwelling in Jesus is what prayer is all about.

Life becomes an unbearable burden whenever we lose touch with the presence of a loving Saviour and see only hunger to be alleviated, injustice to be addressed, violence to be overcome, wars to be stopped, and loneliness to be removed. All these are critical issues, and Christians must try to solve them; however, when our concern no longer flows from our personal encounter with the living Christ, we feel oppressive weight.

True prayer embraces the whole world, not just the small part where we live.

Prayer is the bridge between my unconscious and conscious life. Prayer connects my mind with my heart, my will with my passions, my brain with my belly. Prayer is the way to let the life-giving Spirit of God penetrate all the corners of my being. Prayer is the divine instrument of my wholeness, unity, and inner peace.

Prayer heals our split from life itself. It heals our disconnectedness from the deepest stream itself. Thus prayer affirms us at our core. (Comparatively, therapy too heals our disconnections but only in particular aspects: disconnections from this problem, from this person, for this difficult emotion.)

When we are serious about prayer and no longer consider it one of the many thing people do in their lives but, rather, the basic receptive attitude out of which all of life can receive new vitality, we will sooner or later, raise the question: “What is my way to pray, what is the prayer of my heart?” Just as artists search for the style that is most their own, so people who pray search for the prayer of their heart. What is most profound in life, and therefore most dear to us, always needs to be properly protected as well as expressed.

It is said that Don Bosco prayed in silence more often than by using words. But how do we know he prayed in silence? We know that Don Bosco prayed because of what happened immediately after that. A gentle touch, a healing word, an encouraging smile, a prodigious initiative, a grand task/undertaking, an insightful advice: these are the things that point towards the prayerful recollectedness, the practical living of the union with God. An unperturbed calm and serenity despite the heavy schedule of work. A word said not to hurt, but to heal.

Prayer like sleep is seen only by its effects.

Prayer is a fearless conversation with God. Not a monologue, but a dialogue. That will lead me to listen to the voice of love calling me the beloved.

It is a conversation of the here and now; conversation about the present in all its reality. Movement from monologue to dialogue; from worrying to praying; from unceasing thinking to unceasing praying.

Why intercessions? Why prayers of petitions? When we pray, we will increasingly experience ourselves as part of a human family infinetly bound by God who created us to share, all of us, in the divine light.

We often wonder what we can do for others, especially for those in great need. It is not a sign of powerlessness when we say: ‘We must pray for one another.’ To pray for one another is, first of all, to acknowledge in the presence of God, that we belong to each other as children of the same God. Without this acknowledgement of human solidarity, what we do for one another does not flow from who we truly are. We are brothers and sisters, not competitiors or rivals. We are children of one God, not partisans of different gods.

Intimacy with God and solidarity with all people are aspects of dwelling in the present moment that can never be separated. (To pray is to listen to the voice of the One who calls us the ‘beloved,’ and to learn that that voice excludes no one.) [Nouwen, Here and Now.]

Prayer is not an achievement, it is surrender, a total surrender. It is not about “doing” something, but “allowing” to be done to, “allowing” Someone to do in us to do. It is surrendering to the Other, to God. It is a falling in love, it is allowing ourselves to be loved unconditionally and unrestrictedly, it is allowing ourselves to be loved by God. Prayer is getting immersed in love, in God; it is allowing ourselves to float freely in the waters of God; to allow ourselves to breathe freely and feel one with “It.”

Prayer is a discipline of the moment: of here and now. Being in the present. Being here. Being now, at the moment. To feel now, to be here, to allow myself to feel, to breathe, to flow into the here moment. Prayer is to be conscious, to be conscious of all the things, of everything that is happening to me today. It is to be in the Presence.

Prayer is a total surrender to Another. It is not a doing, not an achievement. The evangelical counsels of obedience, poverty and chastity are all not an achievement; they are about surrendering, giving oneself completely.

Once we experience this surrender, this total abandonment, this total self-offering, this union with this consciousness, this being present to the here and the now, we are able to look out at reality from the vantage point of a much Fuller Reality, that has eyes beyond and larger than our own. This is an experience of the deep calling to deep, the divine seeing the divine in the other, the God is us seeing the God in the world.

Prayer is a re-entering into the world of immediacy—where I use my eyes and He sees, where I use my faculties and He grasps and understands and questions and judges and deliberates and decides and loves. I allow my senses and faculties and body and everything to be used by Him. I allow myself back into the Source of everything and the End of everything: the Alpha and the Omega.

On the Way to Emmaus

Day 1: Meditation Talk: ON THE WAY TO EMMAUS. Retreat to the FMAs, Bellefonte Outreach, Shillong.

Click here for the Meditation

You are there

The Lord was not in the wind, or the earthquake, or the fire. "And after the fire there came the sound of a gentle breeze. And when Elijah heard this, he covered his face with his cloak and went out and stood at the entrance of the cave. Then a voice came to him, which said, 'What are you doing here, Elijah?' He replied, 'I am filled with jealous zeal for the Lord of Hosts.'" (From the First Reading of Friday, 15 June 2018, 1 Kings 19:9-16.)

Here we see how God revealed himself to Prophet Elijah in the murmur of a gentle breeze. Very often, God's inspirations are subtle and gentle. Only when we are able to attune our ears and hearts to His presence and voice, can we hear his soft-spoken voice. Very often we may have to slow down from the maddening pace of our daily lives in order to meet this God of ours. His voice is gentle, He will never force Himself on us. That is love. Love is not love if it is not free. His presence is almost an absence. His presence is filled with absence, and his absence is full of presence.

God's presence is an Invisible Presence. This is the secret shape of our God. We can easily miss Him, if we are not conscious. If we are not careful, we might miss his message too. God very often does not blast his presence into me, it is so gradual that I need to keep saying "yes" to Him. This is the jealous love (jealous zeal or zealous love) like Prophet Elijah that I need to have when dealing with this Mystery called God. Unless I am present to the here and now, and consciously make efforts I will not be able to understand God's marvellous designs in my life. "Where can I go from your spirit? If I am climb the heavens, you are there. If I lie in the grave, you are there. Even darkness is dark for you" (Psalm 139:7-12). Lord, you are the Hound of Heaven.

Desires and Desert

Opening Talk: DESIRES AND DESERT. Retreat to the FMAs, Bellefonte Outreach, Shillong.

You must be willing to make this retreat. Are you disposed? Do you feel the need? Feel good about having come over here. Are you prepared? Preparation for prayer is as important as prayer itself. It’s like preparation for a travel. Travel is crucial, but without preparation travel won’t be possible.

We have not come here to get entertained. We may or may not have a good time. Some things may be okay, some may not be up to the mark or up to our taste. But the important thing is the “retreat experience.” I have come here for a special purpose: I’ve come here for a retreat.

Physical rest is important. Sleep well. Eat well too.

Without silence, this retreat will be a disaster. Inner silence and outer silence. After achieving the outer silence, please aim at inner silence, inner calm and tranquility.

Need motivation and determination. Garfield: “I’m not lazy, I’m motivationally challenged.” (I’m not lazy, I’m in an energy-save mode.) [“If I cannot convince them, I shall confuse them.”]

You will encounter God if you seek Him with all your heart and with all your soul (Deut 4:29).

The concern in this retreat is not logical, but practical. The stress will be on one’s Inner Life. Our foremost concern is to experience and taste God.

Desires. We have lots of desires. During this retreat too, lots of them will surface and even distract us. Many say or even think that we must control the desires; we ought to overcome them. But still, being is desiring. Our bodies, our minds, our hearts and our souls are full of desires. Some are unruly, turbulent, distracting. Some desires make us think deep thoughts and see great visions; some teach us how to love; and some keep us searching for God. Amidst all these, our desire for God is the desire that should guide all other desires. Otherwise our bodies, minds, hearts, and souls become one another’s enemies and our inner lives become chaotic, leading us to despair and self-destruction. So befriend your inner self. Accept whatever comes your way.

This retreat is not a way to overcome desires, least of all, to eradicate desires. This retreat must help us to order our desires, so that they can serve one another and together serve God.

Discipline of retreat. Retreat means ‘to withdraw.’ Retreat is a desert experience (Mark 1:12-13) as the Spirit led (drove) Jesus into the wilderness (desert), just after his baptism. Jesus first of all meets wild beasts and only then the angels. In our experience we shall meet with negativity and hard experiences (wild beasts), but also inspirations (angels). As Israel is born as a nation in the desert, you too will find your Belovedness in the desert.

We will discover ourselves and discover God in this desert experience. The more you believe in God, the more you will believe in yourselves. Thomas Merton says: **

Place of solitude – withdrawal from the world, our concerns, cares, even our problems.

Desert = poverty = nothingness = nada or nihil = emptiness. When we are nothing, we are in a fine position to receive everything from God. I must be “nothing” in order to be open to all of reality and new reality.

To bring some solitude into our lives is one of the most necessary but also most difficult disciplines. Even though we have a deep desire for real solitude, we also experience a certain apprehension as we approach that solitary place and time. As soon as we are alone – an inner chaos opens up in us. As soon as we are alone, without people to talk with, books to read, TV to watch, or phone calls to make, an inner chaos opens up. (Bible alone would do.) That lonely, deserted place...

Phil 2:12-13, “Keep on working to complete your salvation, because God is always at work in you to make you willing.”

Progress, not perfection. Though our aim is to be as perfect as our heavenly Father, we need to begin with baby steps. “Even a thousand-mile journey starts with a single step.” Be patient with yourself. Feel good about the time given to you for prayer, don’t feel forced or compelled. But your efforts are needed, without them you will not know what is in store for you, what is kept for you by the Lord. St Ignatius of Loyola, “Pray a minute or two extra when you want to finish... – prolong a little longer.” Therefore, we need the discipline of prayer.

Preparation for prayer is as important as the prayer moments themselves.

At the end of the retreat, your prayer must become simple. Otherwise I wouldn’t have done my work, or the Holy Spirit wouldn’t have.

Shadowboxing

"Make friends with your opponent quickly while he is taking you to court; or he will hand you over to the judge, and the judge to the officer, and the officer will throw you into prison. You will not get out until you have paid the last penny" (Matthew 5:25-26).

Shadow work is very important if one wants to grow spiritually and also psychologically. Shadows are those parts of my personality that I don't want to see, or show others. They are the alienated parts of myself. In the above passage, Jesus asks his disciples to "make friends" with those who have a challenging message for them. If they do, they will be able to see some of their own shadows. Only the soul knows we grow best in the shadowlands. We are blinded inside of either total light or total darkness, but “the light shines on inside the darkness, and it is a light that darkness cannot overcome” (John 1:5). In darkness we find and ever long for more light.

Your shadow self is not your evil self. It is just that part of yourself that you do not want to see, your unacceptable self by reason of nature, nurture, and choice. That bit of chosen blindness is what allows us to do evil and cruel things—without recognizing them as evil or cruel. Think of our many politicians, god-men, and clergy who have fallen into public disgrace following sexual and financial scandals. So ongoing shadowboxing is absolutely necessary because we all have a well-denied shadow self.

In other words, we absolutely need conflicts, relationship difficulties, moral failures, defeats to our grandiosity, even seeming enemies, or we will have no way to ever spot or track our shadow self. They are necessary mirrors. You can recognize the shadow in two ways. Shadow material either (1) makes you hypersensitive, easily triggered, reactive, irritated, angry, hurt, or upset, or it may keep coming up as an emotional tone or mood that pervades your life; or (2) it makes you positively hypersensitive, easily infatuated, possessive, obsessed, overly attracted, or perhaps it becomes an ongoing idealization that structures your motivations or mood. Jesus' wish for us is to befriend our shadows if we want to truly grow.

Perfection of the Law

For the last couple of days, we have been reading from the Sermon on the Mount, also dubbed as the blueprint of the Christian life-style. The gospels were written that we may identify ourselves with Christ Jesus, Our Lord. And the Sermon on the Mount is one beautiful way of perpetuating the teachings of Jesus, imitating him and identifying ourselves with him. For Christianity is not a set of rules and prescriptions. It is about falling in love with a Person. You will never fall in love with a mere idea or doctrine. You can't be in love with mere laws, rules and regulations.

We need laws, but they only serve as scaffoldings, guidelines. But if we don't live beyond the law, we are perhaps merely observing the letter of the law—we become legalistic. For us Christians, Jesus is our Living Rule. By following him, we fulfill the law and the prophets. Along with Jesus, our role is not to break all the possible rules, but living them for their true purpose. The law does not become an end in itself. The Sabbath was made for humanity, and not the other way round.

Jesus’ teachings are not mere "prescriptions" for getting to heaven. Instead, they are a set of "descriptions" of a free life to live and proclaim the Kingdom here on earth. Our religion is not a mere bunch of do's and don'ts. It is not even a way of achieving an impossible perfection. If there is such a thing as human perfection, it seems to emerge precisely from how we handle the imperfection that is everywhere, especially our own. Real people are not perfect, and perfect people are not real. A "perfect" person ends up being one who can consciously forgive and include imperfection rather than presuming that he or she is above all imperfection. Perfection is a mathematical or divine concept, goodness is a beautiful human concept that includes us all.

Today (13th June) we also keep the memorial of St Anthony of Padua, the miracle worker. His perfection, that is, his creative goodness and faithfulness, came not from mere observance of the law, but from a charismatic obedience to God Himself. Here was a man of the Kingdom who proclaimed the gospel through his life, actions and words. His uncorrupted tongue, after many centuries after his death, proclaim the great instrumentality of this Portuguese Franciscan saint. May I be inspired by his gospel spirit today.

Salt and Light

The cook is at the stove preparing something in a pot. Dipping a spoon and offering it, he says: “Try this and tell me what you think.” She tastes it, smacks her lips thoughtfully and says, “Needs salt.” A boy is reading by a window as the evening fades. Mom walks in the room and flips the switch. “You need more light,” she says.

Salt and light are noticed only in their absence. Salt is not noticed at all when the food is tasty; it is hidden. When there is sufficient light, no one looks at the light: no one notices it. We, as disciples of Jesus, are salt and light in the world. No one will notice us if we provide sufficient salt and light to the world.

Light is an enormous help. Without light we would be in the dark. Yet, we shouldn’t exaggerate. Light does much, but it doesn’t bring anything new. When I switch on the light in a dark room full of people and furniture, that light doesn’t create those people or those tables and chairs. Light only shows what is there already. As Christians we may not bring anything new to the world, but surely we reveal the true nature of things and people. That we belong to God, we belong to each other: we all are God's Beloved.

It is in the light of our lives that others can see who they are and what they are capable of being. Like a lover, a friend, or an artist we could reveal in others their physical, psychological, and spiritual dimensions. We don't create things, we add to their fullness.

But we are not the source of light. We only reflect the true Light that came into the world, the source of all Life. It is in His light that we discover our own depth, width, length, and worth. "O God, in your Light we see Light."

We are gifts to the world. We are here because the world needs salt; it needs more light. We are here to celebrate God and make the goodness of God known in the world.

Gospel passage: Matthew 5:13-16

Saint Barnabas

Today we keep the memorial of St Barnabas, apostle and a great New Testament figure. Perhaps we don't talk much about him, though he played a vital role in the early church. Thanks to Barnabas, we have Paul and his great missionary legacy. But today I want to reflect on one of the greatest friendships turning sour—the friendship of Barnabas and Paul.

Saul of Tarsus (later Paul) had been such a vicious persecutor of Christians that even after his conversion the early Christians were still afraid of him. When Paul eventually returned to Jerusalem following his conversion to Christ, Barnabas had to persuade the disciples to allow Paul in the company of Christians (Acts 9:26). As a result, a wonderful friendship between Paul and Barnabas was formed. On their first missionary journey together, John Mark, the cousin of Barnabas (Col 4:10), accompanied them. Along the way, however, John Mark decided to return to his home in Jerusalem (Acts 13:13). The reason for his departure is not specified. Later on, when a second missionary journey was planned, Barnabas proposed taking Mark as a helper, but Paul resisted the idea. The New Testament book indicates that a “sharp contention” developed between Paul and Barnabas (Acts 15:36-41). Sad to note, they could not reach an agreement, and so they split up. As far as we can guess, these two remarkable men never saw one another again.

Two great saints, two great apostles... the tragic separation between them is incredible. But God used them both in varied ways. He worked for good out of the situation that they two had created. The Bible is full of human, weak, and even sinful situations that God takes advantage of. God works his marvels inspite of us. He breaks his own rules, so to say, in order to bring out the best in us and in the world.

What can we learn from this? Failure, sin, humiliation, darkness and shadow are very good teachers if we allow them to be. The most amazing fact about Jesus is that he found God in disorder and imperfection. We must do the same or we would never be content on this earth. Reality is full of inconsistencies and imperfections, and if we are not comfortable with them we will find ourselves unhappy. You can't argue with reality. What is is!

Evil in me

In a celebrated speech, the former President of the US, Ronald Reagan, described the then USSR as the "empire of evil." How uncomplicated life would be if evil could be thus geographically confined. I see the ISIS, and then say these are the evil guys. I see the terrorists who kill innocent guys, and then say these terrorists are the evil ones. Or we may think about Hitler’s massacre of six million Jews, or Stalin's atrocities in former USSR. Evil, most of us think, is out there. True. Shakespeare's words are true, "The evil men do lives after them." But what about the evil that is within us? I have no power over evil, except that which I have in myself. For evil to triumph, it is enough that good men and women do nothing. Too many people look the other way. The poet W.B. Yeats describes, "The best lack all conviction, while the worst are full of passionate intensity."

When we think that evil is outside there, then we want to destroy it out there. I want to destroy the ISIS. I want to change the terrorists. I want to convert the fundamentalists. I even feel anger or hate against them. But we forget the truth that we are part of the evil that we are fighting against. I need to deal the evil and the violence that is within me, first and foremost. Otherwise how will I be able to deal with the evil outside of me? How can I wage a war against war? Can I use violence against violence? Can I use blood to wash away blood?

As Christians we must first see in ourselves what we see in others: good and bad. If we hate it over there and and not in ourselves, we become self-righteous. The inner movement is to recognize the sinner in ourselves and to forgive ourselves for our sin. This does mean that we recognize our sin as sin, we see its evil and its damage, and we want to change. We don't stand apart from anybody else, or above or in judgment of anybody else. We all share the divine image, which is also to honour the good in both myself and in the would-be opponent.

Our evil may not be newsworthy but nonetheless deadly. I can see the same violence that I see in others also in me. Am I not using the same standard as ISIS or other groups are using, if I want to "destroy" whatever small in the other? Only when we are willing repeatedly to confess that we too have dirty hands, even when we work for peace, can we fully understand the hard task of peacemaking. Etty Hillesum beautifully writes, "Each of us must destroy in oneself all that we think we ought to destroy in others. Every atom of hate that we add to this world makes it still more inhospitable." We love by letting go. To truly love God in the world, we need to let go of our anger and violence however small it may be. The Psalmist speaks for all of us: "If you, O Lord, should mark our guilt, Lord, who would survive? But with you is found forgiveness: For this we revere you."

A Pondering Heart

As we attentively read the gospel reading for the feast of the Immaculate Heart of Mary (Luke 2:41-51), we see that Mother Mary's heart was a pondering heart. Even when she does not understand many things (during the Birth of Jesus or when Jesus is lost and found), she holds (keeps) them in her heart and “ponders” over them. In fact, the Lucan gospel reports, “Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart” (Luke 2:19) and once again, almost repeating the previous verse, Luke states, she treasured all these things in her heart” (Luke 2:51).

Pondering is holding things in one’s heart; it is standing before “life’s great mysteries the way Mary stood before the various events of Jesus’ life, including the way she stood under the cross.” Mary stands at the foot of the cross, accepting the reality of her Son who has become a “criminal,” a “sinner.” Mary does not abandon her criminal, divine son; she does not expect a premature closure of this paradox. “When Mary stands under the cross of Jesus and watches him die—and there is absolutely nothing she can do to save him or even to protest his innocence and goodness—she is pondering in the biblical sense.” As at Nativity, also at the foot of the cross she wonders, ponders amidst heightened suffering. She does not curse God, she does not give up hope. The answer will come one day. She holds the contradiction of her son in incredible tension. Her suffering heart, “pierced by the sword,” holds the irreconcilable elements in creative tension, hoping that out of this tension will be born (created) an answer that she herself cannot author, a resolution that will be given (created) from above. As Ronald Rolheiser puts it, “The type of mysticism that we most need today to revitalize our faith is precisely this kind of pondering, a willingness to carry tension as Mary did.”

Do you have any confusion in your lives now? Anything that is not going according to plan? Treasure them in your heart. Ponder over them. The deeper meaning of those things will be born only later, if you allow it. God has a plan for you; He has a message through every event that is happening to you right now, right here. You will be able to find Him, His love amidst confusion and darkness. This is faith, hope and love given you in a single snapshot. Are you ready for it?

Interconnected in Love

Yesterday we reflected on the greatest commandment of love, and today we celebrate the feast of God's love, the Sacred Heart of Jesus. God Himself is love. God is relationship.

We are created in God's image. If God is love itself (relationship), then we too are love (we too are relationships). We really were made for love, and outside of it we die very quickly. We can live only in relationship, otherwise we die (if not physically, we die psychologically).

When we look at the image of the Sacred Heart of Jesus, we see his heart is out in front. Maybe it's terrible art, but it's great theology. Jesus' heart is given to us, his love is out in front. He wants to connect to us in love... his heart burning and yearning for us always. We humans need to be connected, and even wear our hearts on the sleeves.

Not just us humans, all things in the universe are interrelated beyond comparison. "The universe is a continuous web. Touch it at any point and the whole web quivers." Everything is radically interconnected to everything else. To tell the story of anything you need to tell the story of everything. We  humans are nothing but earth that is aware. We are universe that is conscious. So we are not merely DUST, but we are also STAR DUST. We came not just from the monkeys or the fish, but from the STARS.

If we are so intimately connected to each other in the universe, each and every part is important. Everything has its place. We need each other, and every being in the universe. We need all the parts: both good and bad, beautiful and ugly, talented and not-so-talented, positive and negative. In God's reign everything belongs, even the broken and poor parts. The cross becomes a beautiful symbol of reconciling and uniting all things, even the opposites. Jesus takes our sinfulness; he gives himself completely. Blood and water flow out of his heart for our salvation (John 19:31-37). Jesus thus becomes the Sacrament of God's unfailing and unconditional love. Out of his broken side, Jesus the New Adam gives birth to the New Eve, the Church and all of us.

Just you

Loving God and loving others as oneself are not two commandments, but one (Mark 12:28-34). Loving oneself and loving others/God is one and the same movement. The more I love God the more I love myself and others. Love is all that counts and matters both in time and in eternity. We will be judged by love alone.

Discovering God and discovering myself (read as my True Self): they are one and the same. We know and accept ourselves in the very same movement in which we're knowing and accepting God; in surrendering to God, we simultaneously accept our best and fullest self. But how do I know God? How do I discover Him? God refuses to be known except by love. He is a Person to be loved, enjoyed, and imitated, which ironically ends up being its own new kind of knowing. This is absolutely central and pivotal. Thus discovering God is equal to loving Him.

We may therefore say that there is only one problem on which all my existence, my peace and my happiness depend: to discover myself in discovering God. If I find Him I will find myself, and if I find my True Self I will find my truest God. Finding God and finding our True Self—which is letting go of our false self—are finally the same thing.

In the eternal scheme of things, we discover that all God wants from you is "you." It's just so humbling, because it always feels like not enough, doesn't it? You think you need to be a little better, a little holier, a little worthier, a little fairer, a little thinner, a little more beautiful, a little more wealthier but not this "actual one" that you are now. You always want to be someone else. You want to be a Mother Teresa or a Deepika Padukone or a Virat Kohli or a Mahatma Gandhi. Even children are asked, "What do you want to become in the future?" They are given the complex that they are not enough, the present time is not good enough.

The closer you get to God, you realize that God only wants "you." Nothing more, nothing less. As Oscar Wilde says, "Be yourself; everyone else is already taken." Each of us is our own beauty, a freely-created, grace-sculpted beauty. Perhaps a tragic beauty: a mix of good and bad, beauty and terror, holiness and horror. But God precisely wants this you, this one—with its complex, confused mix. He loves this "you" in this form. He doesn't want anything else from you, any other "you." Just you. Just this. He loves (accepts) you as you are.

God does not love you because you are good. God loves you because God is good.

Will you trust in this God of yours who wants nothing else but you? And all of you. If God can receive you, who are you to not receive yourself—with faults and all? To accept that you are accepted, and live likewise.... That's your task today.

Participating in the Mystery of God

In the Gospel passage of Mark 12:18-27 (see also Luke 20:27-40), the Sadducees bring in a fantastic story of seven brothers and their wife to Jesus. "Whose wife will she be?," they ask him. They want to trap Jesus, and discredit him. But above all, they want to discredit or disapprove resurrection. The Sadducees were wealthy materialists, they did not believe in resurrection. They were so happy in this material world, they denied a spiritual world or an after-life.

Jesus' answer to them is so refreshing, and eye-opening. He asks them to stop seeing heaven with materialistic, earthly eyes; but to see even this material universe with heavenly, spiritual eyes. The universe is not inert, but is “inspirited matter.” The universe is composed of subjects to be communed with, not objects to be exploited. Jesus says, "God is not God of the dead, but of the living. For God all things in this universe are alive." It is not a dead universe that we are living in. The physical structure of this universe is love.

Jesus, in this context, also tells the Sadducees, "You neither know Scriptures nor the power of God." Are we drawing new power and new life from the gospel? Or is the above statement applicable also to us? Our belief in God will be concretely "seen" in our daily lives, if we allow it. The Holy Spirit is creatively at work in this moment urging us to become a new kind of human being such as the world has rarely seen before. Do we believe in this power of God, who is active beyond our imagination? Do we understand the gospel and the Scriptures expressing this same power of God? Do I read and meditate the Word of God? Do I observe and contemplate the material universe expressing God's love to us? Very often, I'm afraid, we believe in a "dead" God, or a God though alive who is not powerful enough. Or we may believe like the ancients that He needs a lot of coaxing and novenas from our part... lots of recited mantras and candles to make Him work.

God is not outside of this universe. He is not out there. He is inside of us, already working powerfully. The Creator is not completely different from his creation; He resides within it. If we're completely different than God, then there will be an impassable gulf between us. We can't know something that's totally different than we are; the idea of such a remote God should be broken. We actually participate in the very mystery of God—who is the Trinity. The indwelling presence of the Spirit within us (Antaryamin) already knows God, already loves God, and is already in love with God. There's nothing we can add to or subtract from this! All we can do is jump on this train, which is already moving. This is true prayer. True prayer is not appeasing a remote, unconcerned God to work, but is seconding the motion—accepting God's work inside of us. True prayer, therefore, is to merely "participate" in this mystery. Aren't we lucky?

Give to Caesar what belongs to Caesar

Jesus in the passage of Mark 12:13-17 says, "Give to Caesar what belongs to Caesar, and give to God what belongs to God." He doesn't advocate a division of time and energies into half: half for the government and society (Caesar), and the rest half for the Kingdom (God). But the Kingdom demands all your energy, and all your time. It will ask everything of you, but it will also give everything to you. And within it, you will be able to give your due to God, and your due to your family, to your society, to the goverment: pay taxes, obey the rules and regulations, etc., unless they are unjust and ungodly (against God).

But some of us may even interpret the words, "Give to Caesar..." as that we should go along with the system and the establishment whatsoever. That is not the case. We've tended to soften Jesus' conflict with the system ever since we became a Church of the establishment, with Emperor Constantine accepting the Christian faith in the year 313. Constantine thought he was doing a favour to Christianity, partially yes. But that can be considered the single most unfortunate event in the history of Christianity. With the Edict of Milan or the Constantinian Revolution, the Church changed dramatically and changed sides dramatically. Up until that time the Church was by and large of the underclass. It had identified itself with the poor, oppressed, those on the margins. The Church itself was still being oppressed and Christians were being thrown to the lions. It was literally underground, in the catacombs. But with Constantine's conversion and promulgation of Christianity as the state religion, we Christians moved from the bottom of the society to the top, and we conveniently forgot Jesus' confrontation with the establishment. We became the establishment. Clear teaching on issues of greed, powerlessness, nonviolence, non-control and simplicity moved to the sidelines, if not actually countermanded.

Jesus was anti-system, anti-establishment especially if it were unjust or self-serving: if it did not serve God. He was friend of sinners, tax collectors, and prostitutes. He even "broke" the Sabbath laws. Jesus intended for us to take the low road, to operate from the minority position, from an inferior position. Because within a system, the daring search for God—the common character of all religion—is replaced with the search for personal certitude and control.

As long as the Church was underground in some sense, as long as we operated from a minority position, we had greater access to the truth, to the gospel, to Jesus. But in our time we have to find our way to disestablish ourselves, to "reach out" to others and go to the fringes of society. We have found ways to appease our conscience: to launch evening schools and some social intervention programmes for the poor. We spend 95% of time and energy for the day schools, and 5% of our time and energy for the night and evening schools. We also serve the poor. We are happy to remain in our comfort zones 95 or 99% of the time. We don't want any truth outside our comfort zones. We want the status quo, and let us "if possible" serve the Kingdom...but it had better be within our schedule and comfort.

Even our language has changed into success and efficiency and achievements. We "do" God's work, in our way: the way we plan... We are in control. We put our talents, our money, use our power, and only then think of God. But being a servant of the Kingdom would mean losing control to God. Allowing God and surrendering to His plans, not our own. The gospel always keeps us as seekers, in a state of longing and thirsting for God. Grace creates a void in us, and only grace can fill this void. The gospel always "kicks" us out of our comfort zones.

[Richard Rohr, with John Bookser Feister, Jesus' Plan for a New World: The Sermon on the Mount (Cincinnati, Ohio: St. Anthony Messenger Press, 1996), 53-54.]

New Heaven and New Earth

Heaven is not a place. It is a state of life. It is attained here and now, or rather heaven begins right here, right now with your consent. So heaven is not a place to reach when you die; but it is a state of life which begins now, and enjoyed fully at the revealing of your new life. That’s why St Catherine of Siena says, “It is heaven all the way to heaven, and it is hell all the way to hell.” Heaven is nothing but the discovery or recovery of God’s union; whereas the hell is the loss of such a union. Mind you, the Church does not talk about hell, it talks only about heaven. (Perhaps we need to stop talking of heaven and hell as “places,” and certainly discontinue the wrong idea of a punishing God who sends souls to hell so that He can be a villain-like hero who has defeated his enemies, and rejoices in the downfall of the cruel and wicked ones—to be burnt in eternal fire.) Moreover, heaven is more about the present than about the future. Or more properly, heaven is “already” but “not yet” completely experienced.

The second letter of St Peter talks of the new heaven and the new earth as God’s unfailing promise (2 Peter 3:12-18). Heaven and earth will be renewed. Not in the future. But now, right here on earth. Wherever there is justice and mercy, there is heaven. Wherever there is love and sacrifice, there is heaven. Whenever we try to bring God’s message of peace and love, then we have heaven.

No one is in heaven unless he or she wants to be, and all are in heaven as soon as the live in union. So our life is all about practising heaven for heaven. We practise heaven by choosing union freely now. Heaven thus is the state of union both here and later. That is why we pray in the Our Father: Your Kingdom come on earth as in heaven. As above, so below. As now, so later.

This earth hides heaven. The present time hides heaven. But also, the earth reveals heaven, and this time reveals heaven. The particular is the way to the general. The concrete is the way to the universal. This reality given to us is that which both hides and reveals the eternal happiness of heaven. We need eyes of faith, and arms of love to create heaven on this earth. Let us not wait for heaven, and let us not miss heaven which is happening right here, right now.

God's Chosen Vineyard

The best way to describe God (and our relationship with Him) is to use pictures, poems, parables, and paintings. As we absorb the images of today's gospel passage (Mark 12:1-12), let us know that God tenderly loves us, protects us, cares for us. We are God's chosen vineyard. That is, we are God's beloved ones, chosen ones.

Ultimately, all religious language and all of religion is a "metaphor." (To carry a meaning across.) But have we taken religion so seriously that we have missed God himself? Have we been so caught up with the rules and commandments of religion that we have missed the tender love of God? Religion's basic purpose is to proclaim God's love, isn't it?

We seem to have exchanged faith for certainties. We have stopped enjoying God or feeling His goodness, and have been involved in ascertaining doctrines, rules and regulations. We have often demanded mental agreement instead of any inner experience of the mystery revealed. We have often made religion into rationally proving or disproving things, or merely believing or disbelieving things in our head. It is often easier for people to believe things, or even to be moral, than to go on such full and risk journeys. Pope Francis writes, "Some persons approach Jesus deviously, with the idea of 'testing' him to see whether his teaching is coherent with his action or whether cracks can be found in it which will allow religious devotion to remain a profitable business. Such persons seek to exchange faith for security, hope for possessions, love for self-interest."  

Let our stories and poems of God abound. Let doctrines of certainties, securities and insurances take a back seat, at least for a while. (Religion is not an insurance policy.) Let us experience God, let us enjoy Him today. Let us "feel" His ever present tender love.

Real Presence

God is present always and everywhere. That is what we try to teach in our Catholic Catechism: "Where is God? - God is everywhere." But why then the Catholic insistence on the Real Presence of Jesus in the bread and the wine in the Eucharist (or the Communion)? If God is truly and truly present in history, in the universe, in all people--whether good or bad, in His Church, in all the cultures and religions, in all groups and in all actions, why should we speak of Real Presence?

Real Presence is not the magical appearance of Jesus into the elemental species of bread and wine. But it is the celebration of the mystery of his presence; it is about the sacramental and concrete involvement of our Lord. He is actively, deeply and totally involved in our lives here and now. That is the meaning of a sacrament. The basic "sacramental principle" is this: we can know spiritual things through the physical world and bodily actions. The finite manifests the infinite, and the physical is the doorway to the the spiritual. In other words, all you need is right here and right now--in this world. This is the way to that! Heaven includes earth.

Real Presence is not merely about Jesus' sacramental presence: mere belief in this doctrine may not change my life, may not influence my own life or others' lives. But Real Presence is also about my presence to God, my availability to God, my free response to Him; and also eventually my presence to others all around me. This could change my life, and even change others' lives.

Worshipping the Real Presence--that easy! But being present to the One who is always and everywhere present--that's not easy! Such an effort can make my life meaningful and purposeful. In fact, we can say that unless we are present before the Presence, there is no Real Presence for us. God is objectively in communion with us, but do we subjectively realize it? If yes, the whole cosmos turns into a Sacrament--full of His Real Presence. Not magic, but mystery. Not magic, but real.

To be really present to someone, I can't do it with my mind alone... My body, my mind and my heart: all have to come together. Today, at least for a few moments, can I give my full attention to someone, to something (a flower or an animal), to my breath, or to some pain that I carry now?

Kingdom Authority

Jesus is questioned by the chief priests and elders in the Temple, "By what authority do you act?" (Mark 11:27-33). But Jesus asks them back a question, "By what authority did John the Baptist act?" The temple priests are not ready to answer. They are opportunists.

When you ask questions, you need to be open to the truth. Or are you afraid that you may get the correct answer? All depends on your openness. Truth could become a victim to our power-games (politics), selfishness, etc. How often have we been like those temple priests who dared to question, but didn't have the courage to face the answer (truth)?

Jesus was asked by outer authority. Authority is more about authenticity and truth, than mere power or control. Authority without authenticity is manipulation. Jesus seems to say that both inner conviction born of authenticity and outer authority need to go hand in hand. We ourselves have seen how much harm being done by power-politics which has no responsibility or commitment towards truth.

The core of authority should be truth, and also love. We need both power and love. Power apart from love leads to brutality; but love that does not engage with power is mere sentimentality. A lot of Christians today are still trapped in one or the other. Can we today, like Jesus, put both power and truth (both power and love) together? He had the courage and power to stand up to the petty politics that the temple priests were playing, but he also had the inner authenticity and true love for his people.... That's why we see him in the temple premises teaching and interacting with people. That's the Kingdom authority that is preached by Jesus.

In season and out of season

Jesus seems to be in a punitive (punishing), violent mood: he curses a fig tree and then drives away those doing business in the Temple premises (Mark 11:11-26). He wants us to produce fruits in season and out of season. I am asked to do good even out of season. I am asked to do good even when others do not provide the "goodness context." To do good to those who harm us. That is what Jesus reiterates when he says, "When you stand in prayer, forgive whatever you have against anybody." (Mark 11:25).

Our task is not merely to forgive “the Jews” and “the Romans.” It maybe even easy to forgive the military regime or the fundamentalist government or the corrupt politicians and officials whom we may encounter every day. It may be easy to forgive this or that Prime Minister or Chief Minister or District Administrator. We may expect them to be cruel, so it might be even easier to forgive. But to forgive my own dear ones in the family or my own confreres in the community, that is not easy. That might be the most difficult task that the Lord may be asking from me just now. We may even think: I have done so much for this person, but she has done this or that harm to me. Time and again this or that person is disobedient, rebellious, even unfaithful and betrayed me. To forgive him or her is certainly difficult, almost impossible. Yet this is exactly what we are called to do: Forgive him from the heart. Forgive him again and again. Forgive everything, everyone, every time. That’s a tall order! Not seven times, but seventy times seven. An incredibly (almost) impossible tall order!

My abusive or alcoholic parents, my greedy siblings and relatives, my dominating superiors, my nagging friends and companions, my imperfect relatives and family members, my insensitive and complaining companions, my impious parishioners, my fault-finding neighbours, my rebellious children, my parochial and racist thinking country men and women, and the list is unending. I am called to forgive all of them from my heart. Indeed, a very difficult task!

Do you know what is even harder to forgive? It is often the petty things, the accumulating resentments. The little things we know about another person; how they sort of did us wrong yesterday. Though they may not be serious issues but the ego loves to grab onto those; they build up on the psyche like a repettitive stress injury. I think that in many ways, it is much harder to let go of these micro-offenses, precisely because they are so tiny. And so we unconsciously hoard them, and they clog us up.

Perhaps by starting to forgive, I can battle my own hypocritical behaviours. I can start practising what I preach every day. When I start doing this, I realise that I am not loving very well. I am meeting only my needs, which is nothing but “co-dependency.” This kind of love is impure and self-seeking. Perhaps a lot of what we call love today is not love at all.

Loving and forgiving: they are practically the same. To love others is to forgive others. Jesus does not merely preach on forgiveness and loving our enemies, but he demonstrates it even when it is most difficult, even while dying: on the cross. We need to die to our false selves (egos), if we wish to love others, if we wish to forgive others.

When I stand in prayer today, when I sit or kneel for my prayer today, I will try to forgive all those people who have hurt me. I shall try to embrace them in my prayer.

Love is the first evangelization

Evangelization or missionary work is not about carrying God to places where He is not there. Because that is impossible. God is everywhere, He is present always everywhere. It is not even about carrying good things to others. It is also not about changing other people—with our ideas. No. Otherwise that would become colonialism and superiority.

Missionary work is not primarily a “work.” It is a response to God and His love. It is response to God’s love, who is always first, who is always and everywhere present. Therefore, love is the first evangelization.

Missionary work, then, is nothing but witnessing to God’s unconditional and unfailing love. Pope Paul VI once said: “Modern person listens more willingly to witnesses than to teachers.” Pope Francis loves that phrase, and it is precisely because of his powerful witness, in both word and deed, that we listen so willingly to him.

I think of evangelization as the great duty of Christian witness. Only Christian love can change hearts, not weapons, not threats, and not the media.

It is love that prepares the way for the announcement of the Gospel. And the love is the message. Love is not only the source and the end, it is also the means. When love is true, it stirs a response of greater love. We need to learn this art of loving, to inspire love in others by our love.

Mother Mary becomes our enduring model of evangelization. As in the Visitation, Mary carries Christ to Elizabeth, but it is Elizabeth that blesses Mary. The Other is my blessing. The poor, the young, the downtrodden, those living on the margins of society... they all are my blessing. “Blessed are the poor.” And Jesus did not say, “Blessed are those who care for the poor.” Unless I become one among the poor, one among the marginalized, I don’t get my blessing. It is they who bless me. I may give Christ to them, but eventually it is they who will save me.

The fire of the burning bush has to burn inside of us, and eventually through us. Transformed people transform people. Transformed people transform the world. Transformed people become agents and catalysts of the fire of love. Our duty is not of "doing" something, but of "being" a Tabernacle like Mary. Our duty is one of allowing the flow of love. Jesus’ actions flowed from his interior communion with God. His presence itself was healing, and it changed the world. In a sense he didn’t do anything! “Everyone who touched him was healed” (Mark 6:56). Flowing people heal just by being there.

God is Dynamism Itself

Today we celebrate Trinity Sunday. Our God is a Family, a Community. God is Relationship itself. God is Inter-relatedness, Intrinsic Inter-connectedness. God is not a static idea, but He is dynamic person/being, He is dynamism itself. In fact, He is a Trinity of Three Persons. This is what we are going to celebrate today in the mystery of Trinity: One God Three Persons. Every prayer starts and ends with the invocation of Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, to remind us that God is for us, not against us (Father), God is with us, Emmanuel (Christ), and God is within us, Antaryamin (Spirit).

When we say God is Trinity, we mean, “God is love.” Totally and absolutely love. Only love. There is no evil in God, no revengeful attitudes or anger, no pettiness of mind but only a large-heartedness that we call unconditional love, unfailing love. God does not love us because we are good; but God loves us because God is good, God is love itself.

Meister Eckhart, the fourteenth-century German Dominican mystic puts it wonderfully:

Do you want to know

what goes on in the core of the Trinity?

I will tell you.

In the core of the Trinity

the Father laughs

and gives birth to the Son.

The Son laughs back at the Father

and gives birth to the Spirit.

The whole Trinity laughs

and gives birth to us.

We therefore are called to love, love like God himself. We are the "Fourth Person" of the Trinity. We are called to create families and communities like God himself, based on love. Let us entrust ourselves to God, to love and to His loving designs. Love and forgiveness are the only ways to establish communities in the world. Because forgiveness is the love practised among imperfect people like us.

Just for Today

Just for today, I will try to live through this day only,
and not tackle my whole life problem at once.

I can do something for twelve hours
that would appall me if I felt that I had to keep it up for a lifetime.

Just for today, I will be happy.

This assumes to be true what Abraham Lincoln said, that
"most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be."

Just for today, I will try to strengthen my mind.
I will study. I will learn something useful.
I will not be a mental loafer.

I will read something that requires effort, thought and concentration.

Just for today, I will adjust myself to what is,
and not try to adjust everything to my own desires.

I will take my "luck" as it comes, and fit myself to it.

Just for today, I will exercise my soul in three
ways: I will do somebody a good turn, and
not get found out. I will do at least two
things I don't want to--just for exercise.
I will not show anyone that my feelings are
hurt; they may be hurt, but today I will not show it.

Just for today, I will be agreeable.

I will look as well as I can, dress becomingly, talk low, 

act courteously, criticize not one bit, not find fault with anything 

and not try to improve or regulate anybody except myself.

Just for today, I will have a program.

I may not follow it exactly, but I will have it.

I will save myself from two pests: hurry and indecision.

Just for today, I will have a quiet half hour all
by myself, and relax. 

During this half hour,
sometime, I will try to get a better perspective of my life.

Just for today, I will be unafraid.

Especially I will not be afraid to enjoy what is beautiful,
and to believe that as I give to the world, so the world will give to me.

- Kenneth Holmes.

Reconciling the Opposites

The story of Noah and the Flood and the Ark (Genesis 6-8) is not a cute children’s story merely. It is a story for the adults mainly. God tells Noah to bring into the Ark all the opposites: the wild and the domestic, the crawling and the flying, the clean and the unclean, the male and the female of each animal, and locks them together inside the ark. God puts all the natural animosities, all the opposites together, and holds them in one place. This is about balancing the opposites. How important that is in our lives! But this story is also about “holding” things even when they do not make sense.

Mother Mary is a beautiful example of this practice. Even when she does not understand many things (during the Birth of Jesus or when Jesus is lost and found), she holds (keeps) them in her heart and ponders over them. In fact, the Bible says, “Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart” (Luke 2:19) and once again, almost repeating the previous verse, “she treasured all these things in her heart” (Luke 2:51). So the story of Noah is not about God punishing “bad” people, but it is about us: that we need to befriend all the opposites that we encounter in our lives. Like Mary we could treasure and ponder in our heart all the contradictions that come our way, and one day we may know why all “those things” good and bad happened to us.

Therefore, when Jesus asks, “Love your enemies” (Matthew 5:44), it is about befriending our enemies both outside ourselves and inside ourselves. We are called to accept those people whom we don’t like; to accept people who are different from us. Similarly, we are also called to befriend our inner enemies of anger, resentment, vengeance, greed, hatred, selfishness, restlessness, violence, irritations, disrespect, emotional chaos, bitterness, cynicism, impatience, etc. That’s when we can fulfill Isaiah’s prophecy: “The wolf will live with the lamb, the leopard will lie down with the goat, the calf and the lion and the yearling together; and a little child will lead them. The cow will feed with the bear, their young will lie down together, and the lion will eat straw like the ox. The infant will play near the cobra’s den, and the young child will put its hand into the viper’s nest” (Isaiah 11:6-9).

Whether it is the story of Noah or the life of Mary or the life of Jesus Christ, each of them is an invitation to us to expand our hearts. And that we may hold and even treasure in our hearts not just the good things but also all the opposites (light and darkness, good and bad, right and wrong, likes and dislikes, virtues and vices, positives and negatives) that we experience in our lives. Ultimately, it is love that can reconcile opposites. It is God’s love that can unite and reconcile everything in the world and in our hearts; it is God and His love that can help us accept, own, integrate and reconcile all the shadows.

(Inspired by Fr Richard Rohr OFM’s meditation on Forgiveness, August 30, 2017 .)

Relationship, Love, Mystery

When you submit to love, you lose control.
In relationships you always lose control.
If prayer is relationship you always lose control, you become passive.
When you even skim the edges of relationship, you submit to mystery and lose control.
Mystery isn’t something that you cannot understand—it is something you can endlessly understand!
If you have control over your relationship, then it is not friendship or marriage, it would be abuse, it might even be rape.
Love is not love if I don’t lose control, give the reins to the other person.
Marriage or friendship or intimacy would be so much easier if there wasn’t another person involved, but then it would be meaningless, too.
When and if you love, you lose control.
Without love and relationships, life has no colours, and no meaning.
In the beginning was the Relationship. God is Relationship. God is Community. God is Love.

(Thanks to William Paul Young and Richard Rohr.)

Digital Authenticity

We carry our obstacles in our pockets now, vibrating and notifying and emoji-ing us about everything and nothing. And let’s be honest: most of our digital and personal conversation is about nothing. Nothing that matters, nothing that lasts, nothing that’s real. We think and talk about the same things again and again, like a broken record. We do everything possible to avoid being in the present, and even “kill” the presence by means of more and more entertainment, more and more highly excitable and sensational stuff. We need always something that entertains us, that excites us more and more because being in the present is boring.

Even the videos that we share and the picture-quotes that we share have to excite us on the sense level. (I’m not talking of pornography, mind you.) We are not worried about the truth. Remember how we shared the news about Fr Tom’s crucifixion, the sudden death of Jackie Chan or other celebrities… we don’t know what is true, what is false. Our television channels keep bombarding the news that are negative (sometimes only negative), sensational, and their business seems to concentrate on all the “bad” news in the world, and also gossips about movie stars and sportspersons.

It’s amazing that we have enough and more time for WhatsApp, Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, and all social networking. At our dining tables, we give more attention to the messages received than to enjoying the food at hand or in our mouth.

We even have stopped eating broilers… we keep changing our diets according to the whims and fancies of our WhatsApp groups. Fruits before or after the meal? How many litres of water? Let’s not deny the positives of all these… but are we paying a high price for these? Someone said he even stopped reading books, there is enough and more stuff on WhatsApp. Wow.

We have become restless. We don’t know when and how to end a digital conversation. Ok. Ok. Thanks. Welcome. Ok. Ok. Then the emoticons… then…. Endless almost.

Superstitions galore. Please pass this message to at least 20 more idiots, otherwise something bad will befall you. The black cat era has not passed yet.

If some of us can be blamed for gossip, I think almost all of us can be blamed for “detraction.” If gossip is about falsity and evil, detraction is about spreading evil though it’s true. Do you know what…?

We feel in ourselves the compulsion to answer each and every damn thing. Otherwise what will they feel? When were we so needy for love and attention?

Haven’t we become more ego-centric? Hasn’t the already fragmented consciousness breaking up even more? We are easily distracted. We boast ourselves with our capacities for multi-tasking. What does it mean? We are not able to do one thing properly, are we? Even our meetings (especially the boring ones) warrant our cell phones out… “I’d better reply some messages now, and thus use my time!” And this is no laughing stock!

Aren’t we like Martha “distracted” with all our serving? We are serving the Lord, but we are distracted.

Martha is doing the reasonable, hospitable thing—rushing around, fixing, preparing, and as the text brilliantly says, “distracted with all the serving” (Lk 10:40).

Martha was everything good and right, but one thing she was not. She was not present—most likely, she was not present to herself, she was not present to her own feelings of resentment, perhaps her own martyr complex, her need to be needed. This is the kind of goodness that does no good! If she was not present to herself, Martha could not be present to her guests in any healing way, and spiritually speaking, she could not even be present to God. Presence is of one piece. How you are present to anything is how you are present to everything. How you are present to anything is how you are present to God, loved ones, strangers, those who are suffering.

Unless you are present to yourself, you can’t be present to others, or to God.

Jesus, in the same passage of Martha and Mary, doesn’t lose the occasion to affirm Mary, “who sat at his feet listening to him speak” (Luke 10: 39). Mary knows how to be present to him and, presumably, to herself. She understands the one thing that makes all other things happen at a deeper and healing level. Prayer is not one of the ten thousand things, but it is the one thing necessary to see all those ten thousand things. It is the presence that is needed to live those ten thousand things in a healing way.

(Expanded from Richard Rohr’s Daily Meditations on “Living in the Now.”)

Monkey Mind

"I can’t escape my monkey mind even on retreat. Daily contemplative prayer is crucial to helping me live in the now. It takes constant intention and practice to remain open, receptive, and awake to the moment. We live in a time with more easily available obstacles to presence than any other period in history. We carry our obstacles in our pockets now, vibrating and notifying and emoji-ing us about everything and nothing. And let’s be honest: most of our digital and personal conversation is about nothing. Nothing that matters, nothing that lasts, nothing that’s real. We think and talk about the same things again and again, like a broken record. Pretty soon we realize we’ve frittered away years of our life, and it is the only life we have." (Richard Rohr, "Living in the Now: Practicing Presence," Daily meditation of Friday, November 24, 2017.)

Unless I am present to myself, I can't be present to others or to God. Unless I'm present to myself, I can't realise that God is not out there, but God is in here: He is right here right now. All that I need is right here right now. The only way to access these is to be present here, to be present now, to be present to myself. I know the hardest place to be is to be here, the hardest time to live through is right now right here. Unless I am present to myself here and now, I can't be present in a healing way to others. In discovering myself, I discover God. In discovering God, I discover myself and my communion with others.

Here and Now

Living in the present moment, here and now. That's spirituality. The patterns of resistance and ego-centredness do arise when you sit now, when you are present here. To be in the present moment is a boring thing.  The mind moves forward or backward: either to future to plan or worry about things, or to replay the past. Jesus asks not to worry about times and seasons, not to worry about past or future. He asks us to forgive the past, and not worry about tomorrow. Not even to worry about food or drink or clothing. God's kingdom is not a matter of food and drink, of clothing and shelter. Jesus asks us not to worry or fret or be anxious about anything or anyone or any "time." The Lord reveals himself in the present; only in the here and now we will know that we are already in union. So the spirituality about the here and now is about living the union with God just now just here. All that we need now is here, all that we need for here is available just now. God is available just here just now. He is present. The boundaries around the present keep increasing and the peace too increases. The past and the future don't matter. No boundaries in space and time are needed to experience God. To lose yourself into this present moment, and waste your time into this present moment is the key to living here and now with God. That lonely, deserted place, where you don't expect anything for your past or future is that place you need to arrive at. That place is here just now. Always in the now. And that is the hardest place to be, the hardest period of time (point) to be conscious of. This is the moment where the point or spark of nothingness is revealed (of which Thomas Merton is speaking).

Spirituality is about seeing

"Lord, let me see." Isn't that a beautiful prayer? Yes. Prayer is not one of the ten thousand things. It's that by which we see those ten thousand things. In prayer we see all things in a new light. (Richard Rohr, Everything Belongs, 93.) Spirituality, therefore, is about seeing. It's not about earning or achieving. It's about relationship rather than results or requirements. Once you see, the rest follows. (Rohr, Everything Belongs, 33.)

Love is Your True Self

The love in you—which is the Spirit in you—always somehow says yes. Love is not something you do; love is someone you are. It is your True Self. Love is where you came from and love is where you're going. It's not something you can buy. It's not something you can attain. It is the presence of God within you, called the Holy Spirit, who is uncreated grace.

You can't manufacture this by any right conduct. You can't make God love you one ounce more than God already loves you right now.

You can't.

You can go to church every day for the rest of your life. God isn't going to love you any more than God loves you right now. You cannot make God love you any less, either—not an ounce less. Do the most terrible thing—steal and pillage, cheat and lie—and God wouldn't love you less. You cannot change the Divine mind about you! The flow of divine love is constant, total, and 100 percent towards your life. God is for you.

We can't diminish God's love for us. What we can do, however, is learn how to believe it, receive it, trust it, allow it, and celebrate it, accepting Trinity's whirling invitation to join in the cosmic dance.

That's why all spirituality comes down to how you're doing life right now.

How you're doing right now is a microcosm of the whole of your life.

How you do anything is how you do everything.

Richard Rohr, The Divine Dance: The Trinity and Your Transformation (London: SPCK, 2016), 193, slightly edited.

At the Margins

Those who are marginal in the world are central in the Church (or that's how it is supposed to be). Going to the margins revitalizes the Church. We thus find ourselves going to the edge, going to the bottom, going to those who are excluded at the margins. This is to imitate our Master who is constantly going to the lepers and those whom society labels "sinners." The Church will always be renewed when our attention shifts from ourselves to those who need our care. If we go out to the edges, to the poor, then we discover that petty disagreements, fruitless debates and paralysing rivalries will eventually recede and gradually vanish. The most remarkable experience of those who work with the marginalized and the poor is that, in the end, the blessings flow through the poor; and the poor are those who give more than they receive. The poor give food to us. "Blessed are the poor." (See Henri Nouwen, Bread for the Journey, Nov 1; see also Richard Rohr, The Divine Dance, 133.)

Humility and Honesty

Humility is the mother of all virtues; it is mother of all growth. To be humble is to be honest. Humility and honesty are essentially the same thing. One who is humble is brutally honest about oneself and is open to truth. Only those who are humble and honest can grow in truth. Without these two qualities, we don't grow. The only honest response to life is a humble one. Our growth, in other words, is by a letting-go. It is accomplished by the release of our current defense postures, by the letting go of fear and our attachment to self-image. Thus, we grow more by subtraction than by addition. So our growth is not a matter of accumulating more and better information, but a matter of letting go of our ego and "decreasing." Growth, paradoxically, (in spiritual terms) is not about increasing, but about decreasing. I must decrease, He must increase. (See Richard Rohr, Everything Belongs, 120-121.)

Inner Journey

Paul’s farewell discourse. (See today’s first reading.) He is going to Jerusalem. Remember Jesus’ journey. But this is not merely an outward journey: it is symbolic of an inner journey. The most difficult journey is an interior one. Paul …. discerns God’s will. Though people tell him not to go, he knows God’s inspiration.

Prayer, reflection, contemplation => the most important aspects of our religious life. Work and activities should not stifle our contemplative spirit. (Active contemplation.)

Contemplation = long, loving, lingering look at something. To see God in everything, in everyone. It is allowing the God in me to meet the God in the world. Allowing the divine to meet the divine the world. It is surrender. Not an action. It is a passion.

Prayer or contemplation is surrendering; not about saying or doing something. It is tuning into God’s presence, His active presence. It is allowing oneself to be moved by the Spirit.

As we prepare for the coming of the Spirit at Pentecost, let us allow God to work in us powerfully.

Words of Fire

“The Lord God Almighty, said to me, I will make my words like a fire in your mouth.” (Jer 5:14)

With Differently Abled Children

It was a beautiful day today. I joined in the celebration of the first death anniversary of Francis’ brother-in-law. The family sponsored the meal for the mentally retarded children and other differently abled persons here at Podanur. It was an overwhelming experience. I could control my tears, but not others. God is our Father; God is their Father too. He takes care of them too. Just before lunch, the children prayed for us all, and kept a couple of minutes of silence for the deceased. "Give him eternal rest, O Lord. Be with all those children and all those people whom we met today."

Divisions

When divisions arise against my desire, I have to find the courage to live them as lovingly as I tried to prevent them. (Henri Nouwen)

Recognition of Darkness

Nouwen writes in Sabbatical Journey: "I feel lonely, depressed, and unmotivated. The same old pain that has been with me for many years and never seems to go completely away. I realize that my busyness is a way to keep my depression at bay. It doesn't work. I have to pray more. I know that I need to just sit in God's presence and show God all my darkness. But everything in me rebels against that. Still, I know it is the only way out."

A Bullet

The heroine (Alia Bhatt), with a gun in her hand, asks the hero (Randeep Hooda) in the movie Highway, "A bullet can kill only one person, right?" The hero removing the weapon from her hand says, "It kills two persons, the one who is shot at, and the one who shoots."

The prayer of the humble pierces the clouds

The prayer of the humble pierces the clouds, and it will not rest until it reaches its goal; it will not desist until the Most High responds and does justice for the righteous. (Sir 35:21)

Light of Forgiveness

Forgiveness does not change the past, but it enlarges your future. You can't rid darkness by means of darkness. You can't overcome evil with evil. You can't wage a war against war or terror. Violence is not the solution to violence. You can overcome evil only with good. The solution for war is forgiveness, fraternity, compassion, love. To dispel darkness you need to bring light in. "O Lord, in your light, we see light." Let the God in me see the God in the world; let the divine in me meet the divine in the world.

What should I focus on?

The way for us to be in this world is to focus on the spiritual life - our own as well as the spiritual life of each one of the people that we meet. All the rest pales before these "spiritual events," which will become part of our enduring search for the truth of life and the love of God. (Henri Nouwen, Sabbatical Journey.)