Seventy Times Seven

(This slightly long reflection is partially based on Fr Ivo Coelho's homily on forgiveness, preached at Rome last year.)

Two-thirds of Jesus’ teaching is directly or indirectly about forgiveness! And in today's gospel (Matthew 18:21 - 19:1) Jesus is asking us to forgive our brother/sister from the heart. Not seven times, but seventy times seven. An incredibly (almost) impossible tall order! We need to acknowledge that it is very difficult to forgive. Almost impossible. Jesus forgives his murderers on the cross. He forgives when it is most difficult. He forgives even the unrepentant thief. (Otherwise Jesus won’t be our model.) He forgives the Jews and the Romans, but more importantly he forgives his own disciples, his own friends. After his resurrection, his first words are: “Peace be with you.” No stories, no hurts; only peace, only forgiveness. For Jesus too it would have been (comparatively) easier to forgive others - Romans, then Jews. But then to forgive his own disciples, that was not easy; yet he did it.

Forgiveness is the name of love that is practised among imperfect people like us. It is important that I live and experience the forgiveness of God. Unless I experience the mercy and forgiveness of the Lord I will not be able to transfer or do the same to my fellow beings. This point is clear in the parable of today's gospel. Though the wicked servant was forgiven, he is not ready to do the same. He has not experienced the forgiveness, or he has not fully appropriated his master's mercy. The parable is very logical. But still that wicked servant does not do it.

I repeat, the parable is logical. But are we ready to forgive like our Master? As the Lord has forgiven us, are we able to do the same? Or are we like the wicked servant? I know that God has forgiven me, He forgives me continuously, but I am not able to do forgive like Him. Though he has forgiven our bigger debts, we are not able to forgive the comparatively smaller debts of our dear ones and neighbours and others. The parable is logical: easy to understand, but am I living a life of daily forgiveness?

Forgiveness is central to the Lord’s prayer (in fact, a programme of life). The more you forgive, the more you receive forgiveness. Receiving forgiveness and offering forgiveness go hand in hand. Repentance is also about giving your forgiveness to others like you.

To forgive, you have to be able to see the other person—at least momentarily—as a whole person, as an image of the Divine, containing holiness and horror at the same time. In other words, you can’t eliminate the negative. You know they’ve hurt you. You know they did something wrong. You know they screwed your life, but then you are ready to forgive them. You have to learn to live well with this "contradiction," or else you can’t forgive. Forgiveness accepts the dark past with an attitude of gratefulness. It can accept contradictions and darkness that we have encountered in our lives.

The point of the gospel, of the parable is this: You can forgive only when you yourself have experienced mercy, when you yourself have appropriated forgiveness from the Lord (when you are continuously experiencing his touch of forgiveness). When you are able to understand that God loves you precisely in your obstinate sinfulness, when you’re still a mixture of good and bad, holiness and horror. You’re not a perfectly loving person, and God still totally loves you. This is the understanding we need. When I can stand under the waterfall of infinite mercy and know that I am loved precisely in my unworthiness and sinfulness, then I can pass along mercy to the other.

God cannot stop loving you. God cannot not forgive you. He is mercy itself. Let love and forgiveness happen in your lives. Pass along this beauty of mercy to others. The choice is yours: Do you want to imitate the Master or the wicked servant?