On Being Humble

“Those who humble themselves will be exalted.”

We humans actually respond to one another's energy more than to people's exact words or actions. Either we use our positive energy (eros) or use our negative energy (thanatos) in relating with others. In any situation, we are either giving away energy or taking away energy from others. People either attract each other, or their “vibrations” do not meet. It may have to do with physical appearance, body language, the way people are dressed, and all kinds of other indeterminable factors. Most times it also has something to do with one's personality: eros or thanatos. A modest and simple person attracts everyone. An arrogant and haughty person antagonizes everyone. Nobody is more difficult than the person who looks down on others. What we all desire and need from one another is that life energy called eros. It always draws, creates, and connects things. In the same line, Jesus says in Matthew 23:1-12 that “The greatest among you must be your servant. Those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.”

Humble persons are those who are open to reality, who can listen readily to others, who are open to others' views without imposing their own. They will have a sense of humour, and they will see the relativity of things. They will not get haughty. They will be neither fanatic nor intolerant. They are present to you wholeheartedly, they can respond to situations according to the need.

Humble persons are always honest. This is one thing true about them. They are honest to themselves, and to others. They are honest about life itself, which is made up of so many failings and fallings. They are not in search of an illusory perfection, they can deal with imperfections, especially their own. They are people who can hold the tension of having both good and bad, beautiful and ugly, light and dark aspects within themselves, and without themselves. It takes uncommon humility to carry the dark side of things.

We need to learn humility, as humility is the mother of all values. Only then we can hear the good news with open hearts. We need to maintain an attitude of humility before the great Mystery of God and the mystery of life itself. Richard Rohr, a Franciscan priest and author (on whom I base most of my reflections), says he prays for five moments of humiliation every day. That is another way to remain on the ground, to remain humble. Failure, sin, humiliation, and shadow work are very good teachers if we allow them to be.

Humans, humiliation and humility all seem connected to the same root: "humus." We humans belong to earth, to dust. Without God's spirit blown into us, we are mere dust. But with His energy, we have life. Let us also learn from Mother Mary, the humble handmaid of the Lord; she teaches us that it is humility of heart which the Lord finds especially attractive.