Formation of Formators

Here are some impressions of mine with regard to the Formation of Formators course at Don Bosco Renewal Centre, Bangalore, 21 October to 18 November, 2015.

The individual courses were all theologically sound. Especially Marcel Lincoln being a theologian, gave a good understanding of our formative efforts in terms of the person of Jesus – both theologically and biblically. Many participants appreciated K.M. Jose’s sessions on Human Development and on Psycho-Sexual Maturity. Some of them attended such a course for the first time in their lives. Even for me, a course like this was long overdue. In almost ten years of my priestly life, this is was the first time I attended a month long course. (First four years – I was in three different settings, the next four years in Rome, now the ninth and tenth years at Divyadaan, Nashik.) To encourage people to go for these ongoing formation courses would be praiseworthy.

In the course, there was a lot importance given to spiritual direction. There was a one day animation on this topic. That could be extended for at least one day more, I'd think. A separate course on spiritual direction may not find enough takers, but a formators’ course like this will appreciate these topics.

Loddy’s animation on Holistic Formation, Assessment of Candidates and Vocational Discernment was very good, especially by way of his various examples. His life experiences make his content very good. His insistence that you discern the formee’s vocation not just in terms of her suitability into a congregation, that’s being selfish, Loddy says, but the important thing is to guide her to find God’s design in her life, and discern her vocation. Suitability into a congregation is just part of this big discernment. Loddy’s content was solid, helpful, very clear.

Edison Fernandes’ course on Psycho-cultural Aspects in Formation gave me a beautiful perspective, and some new vocabulary in order to understand the various formees coming from varied backgrounds and cultures. There are individualistic cultures (guilt) and collectivistic cultures (shame). For collectivistic cultures, gossip too may be a way of communicating a truth, they don’t communicate directly; they don’t offend people by giving direct opinions. Eye contact and asking questions are considered to be forms of disrespect in some of these collectivistic cultures. In collectivistic cultures, passive aggression is considered better than expressing direct anger. For instance, there are cultures that give importance to event time and there are others that give importance to clock time. The tribal cultures are examples of the former, they talk about monsoons, seasons, and harvests as events, not dependent on calendar-clock timings. Their life too is intertwined with these events; their punctuality is with regard to events, not the chronological timings of a clock. They don’t appear to be smart when compared to those who are trained with clock-time. These differences are perspectives, not matters of right or wrong. Similarly, to understand the differences between high-context and low-context cultures, between high authority distance and low authority distance, etc. (In low context cultures, you can find your way: there are signs everywhere, e.g., road signs.)

The community building animation by Marcel Lincoln was praiseworthy. His content was good, his games hilarious, and above all his radicality for Christ makes these sessions beautiful. He made us think, and even reflect.

The group therapy was a deep experience for me. It was a healing experience for me, I should say. To acknowledge my feelings, my emotions, that was great. I dealt with fear and irritation and other emotions, and even some compulsions. I feel the joy of having undergone another group therapy. The previous one was when I was preparing for my perpetuals, I think.

The participants [22 in all: one from Poland, one from Thailand, five from Sri Lanka, and the rest from India] were serious in their participation but relaxed too.

We had two panel discussions: a panel of formators and a panel of formees on two different days. This is a beautiful idea. Both brought forth deep discussions and sharing. Edison happened to be around for the panel of formators, he gave a beautiful talk. I think he should publish that. A wonderful talk, a deep sharing of his impressions. He insisted that we should not be desperate for numbers, not lower the standard while recruiting for one’s congregation. (Some others too had insisted on this point.) Edison also mentioned let our vocation promotion be the fruit of our apostolate, not an apostolate itself. He also asked our caution in employing psychological tests. Not an exercise of photocopying a few sheets and arriving at results, when there are no experts around. He made us aware of the ecological validity of psychological tests; and to check also if there are time limits attached to the tests, etc. He asked us to give up on negative narratives and defeatism in our congregations (whether it be formation or vocation promotion). He questioned us why we are not at ease with ambiguity, why do we want only clarities or even finished products in our formation who don’t need formation in that sense. Edison also reiterated the fact that our formation should go hand in hand with our mission, including the summer/periodical exposure programmes. I remember Marcel’s comment that the real formation takes place not in our formation houses, but outside of them in the mission communities. Edison also said that there is a lot of depression in our formees, or at least there isn’t deep joy in many of our formees -- seen in their sleeping during meditation, or no effort taken for personal prayer or meditating.

All the animators were of one mind that our formation should be transformation of the person of the formee, which only happens with a lot of freedom and responsibility, and proper guidance or facilitation.

Some points of improvement, which I had communicated to the community during our general evaluation was to cut the overdependence on the powerpoint presentations -- they were becoming too linear. More faith sharing or lectio divina moments during course itself would have been extra beneficial. To digest some heavy stuff, more group discussions might be needed.

The participants were all happy with the staff -- especially their presence with us throughout the course. And also their availability for spiritual direction.

In short, the course was a joyful, refreshing, and a beneficial experience. It was also a moment of healing for me.

The following was my personal evaluation (during the course itself) – not a summary but a short account of the different “learnings” that happened in me.

First and foremost, this course FoF was a blessing where I could meet various people from different countries and cultures. It has been an occasion of deepening my personal convictions and my vocation too.

One of the first things that I learnt is about corrections: correct others in love, and also appreciate them more [than you correct]. John XXIII’s maxim was helpful: “Observe everything, overlook many things, and correct just a few.”

The reflections on psycho-cultural aspects of formation made me think on the various insenstivities that have been part of our formation structures. To understand a person would mean also to understand her cultural background, uniqueness, and all her specialities.

In group therapy and a few other exercises I had an occasion to enter deeply into my emotions and feelings. Unless I get in touch with my feelings I cannot feel with the other. If I need to understand the formee I need to go deep into my own self and be integrated head and heart. My usual tendency is to use my head rather than the heart while dealing with the other. What is more important is the formation of the heart.

The question whether our formees are becoming brighter or ‘duller’ made me reflect on the importance given to freedom and personal responsibility, trust and confidence. I’ve sometimes not given the formees the space and time for their own growth. I need to tell myself time and again that the formee herself along with the Holy Spirit is the primary one responsible for her formation, I’m only an instrument, a facilitator. I’d rather be a guru, one who eats the darkness of ignorance and sin.

For this, I think, I need greater patience and compassion. I need to suffer with the other. Compassion is not just for calamities, but for always, all occasions. If I have to live my community life as a covenantal relationship, then I need to have a compassionate, ever-forgiving heart.

One more thing that I learnt is the importance of wisdom, God’s own gift, that is needed for my pastoral ministry. Not my human efforts, not my human intelligence that should be given the priority, but allowing God’s infinite wisdom to deal with concrete situations.

Significantly, to understand that to be human is to be beautifully flawed gives me a sense of relief and even faith that I need not be perturbed by every single thing that happens around me. God is in control, all is well with the world, I don’t have to take control of things, He is the Lord of history, He is our Master. I on my part will have to be open to His Spirit, discern His will, and be a help to those around me.

I thank all those who have made this DBRC experience an enriching one. As I become deeper in my convictions that I’m the beloved of God, I resolve that I’ll communicate with my life this core identity of "belovedness" to all my formees.

Back in Action

For two months, I was missing in action... Here I am back, after a home visit and a course in Bangalore - Formation of Formators.