True Friendship

7th Week in Ordinary Time - Year 1 (Friday, 1 March 2019)

Sir 6:5-17. Ps 119:12, 16, 18, 27, 34-35. Mk 10:1-12.

Whoever has found a faithful friend has found a treasure.

Today’s first reading from Sirach speaks of friendship. Some of the most famous biblical words on friendship are from this passage: “The faithful friend is a secure refuge; whoever has found one has found a treasure. A faithful friend is beyond all price; hold him as priceless. A faithful friend is a life-saving remedy, and those who fear the Lord will find one.” (Sir 6:14-16)

These days, the word ‘friend’ is one we tend to use very casually and we call people friends with whom we have only a relatively superficial acquaintance. Or we term as friends people who are useful in getting things we want. A genuine friend, with whom one can open oneself completely and in whom can have total trust, is not easy to find.

Our youngsters boast of having thousands of friends—not real friends, but virtual ones: in Facebook and other social network media.

I was a reluctant latecomer to the universe of Facebook and of WhatsApp. I was very hesitant to get into any of these social network media. Still feel clumsy. At the same time, I cannot but admire the marvellous technological creativity behind the various social network services on the net and with the capacity of an almost ‘infinite’ and ‘universal’ range of contacting people.

Strange but true: mere acquaintances become friends. A danger and a blessing in one pack! Though the capacity for virtual friendship is infinite, our capacity for real and true friendship as the first reading speaks of has come down drastically.

Not just friendships but our own personalities have been affected. We can talk about fragmentation of true friendships, fragmentation of marriages (as the gospel reading is warning us about), and above all there is a real danger of fragmentation of consciousness. There seems to exist a kind of narcissism in the exploits of a FB- or WhatsApp-like technology. Is there an unhealthy or exaggerated perception of oneself in relation to others? Have our selfies and selfie-times increased?

In our dining hall, I have put out a notice not to use the cell phones during meals. And most of us (including me) fail in this regard! It’s not the technology, but our use of technology that needs a serious thought. That’s obvious, I suppose. But my point is something that we take for granted. When I have nothing important to do, I open my WhatsApp! Is this true even for us? Does this even seem normal for us?

I’m not merely reflecting on a responsible use of the networking facilities. What I am speaking of is something that goes unnoticed: our fragmentation at the root of our consciousness. For instance, we don’t even know what we are forwarding. We are ready to forward fake messages, we don’t even want to find what is true and what is not.

We subscribe to some kind of subtle (or not-so-subtle) hatred, and surely to many biases.

Yet there is a positive and progressive consciousness of an internationalism and inclusivism, that has never been so strong.

We have been able to spread the gospel ideas of love, joy and peace via the social network media. That’s a great thing that is happening. Let’s say the gospel reflections that some of us are preparing and sending to our own contacts and circles have been possible only through the instrumentality of our various technological advancements.

Our technological advancements have come to stay. The challenge, as before, is to take captive every thought and every technological advancement to make it obedient to Christ (cf. 2 Cor 10:5). We need to allow Christ at the root of all that we are and do, and all that we think and say. Let us be faithful to the person of Christ and his friendship, and not to any ideology or technology.